Some "friend" trouble..

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by jessikah2k8, Mar 17, 2009.

  1. jessikah2k8

    jessikah2k8 Well-Known Member

    I have this friend and she's always been a little over exaggerated. I had a fight with her last year, where she lied about her best friend's dad kissing her. Claiming to have an affair with him etc. That father, is my now boyfriend's step dad and he told me it was a pile of rubbish. She isn't allowed back to his house again. She has lied contiuously the past couple of years to me; which have always got found out or are ridiculous rumours you would expect someone else to make up, then she comes running for sympathy off people.

    She came onto me on MSN the other day. She told me she ran out of English crying earlier. I asked her why and she told me it was because the topic of abuse was brought up and she had been abused since she was 3. At first, I was sickened she would even say that. Her mum is a lovely woman - she had depression years ago maybe, but I know she would never abuse her. I told her that it isn't right to exaggerate and that every child gets slapped around a bit. She claims she beat her up all the time. I told her to stop telling me this and I didn't want to hear any more, and she went nuts at me - telling me I didn't believe her and how "good a friend I was". I know abuse is a very touchy subject but I am finding it hard to believe. The school supposidly know. Yet social services and the police are not involved and they simply told her *apparently* "Oh as long as your safe now your living with your gran." I debated my case by bringing that up and saying any incident of abuse was supposed to be reported to at least social services. She continued claiming she was abused. It got me pissed off so I went offline.

    This girl then rings everyone - and tells them my secrets. One of them about a particular modelling website with some revealing shots on it. It was something I wanted kept private between a few friends because I have actually become keen on modelling part time in the future. However, she has spread this around everyone and everybody is calling me a slut because they refuse to listen to my side of the story. She told my boyfriend's sister - why? Because she always has had a thing for my boyfriend and claims she "can't wait until we break up". I rang my boyfriend in tears and he told me if anything, this girl has completely ruined their friendship. He no longer talks to her at all. His sister also rarely talks to her due to last year's lies. Yet she still goes around saying my boyfriend is like a "brother" to her and how their close, always boasting about how long she has known him. To be honest, he doesn't care about her. He has took nothing to do with her since all this happened, which I appreciate because his sister also told me I always come first with him. Basically if you fuck with me, you fuck with him too.

    I have tried apologising to her and compromising with her - but she walks away. I have texted her, left her e-mails but she doesn't reply to me. She has told all my friends she no longer wants anything to do with me. This has got me angry because I have done nothing to her whatsoever compared to what she has done to me. This girl has been a great bundle of laughs for me the past 3 years or so, but I chose not to believe her based on the lies she gave me before and just my general knowledge - like for instance, a case of abuse wouldn't go unreported. I haven't told her I don't believe her though - so it's not as if I've even been cheeky - perhaps a little arrogant but definately not something that deserves this sort of behaviour.

    I don't know what to do with her, because she keeps talking about me all the time with other people and looking over at me etc.

    What do you suggest I do with her if she won't listen to me at all?
  2. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Some people are bitchy gossips. The best thing to do with those people is to stay away from them. There' s nothing you can really do to stop their behavior besides negatively reinforcing it by removing yourself from them.

    Dealing with the fall out of her gossip: You just have to accept that some people in this world are cruel, mean, or insensitive to others. Some people won't like you and some people will laugh at you. But that doesn't mean the majority of people do -- luckily those people fall in the minority.

    Regarding her claims of abuse: As somebody abused, I have sympathy for her. But that doesn't mean you have to deal with her. If she's a negative influence on your life then you can and should separate from her. Regardless of what happened to her.

    WARUMONO Member

    Don't waste your time on her.
    She's obviously too caught up in her pathetic little world to take a peek at what's going on in reality.
    And whether or not she's telling the truth isn't the point.
    She's not a good person and you don't need to associate yourself with someone like that.
    Ignore her actions the best you can and stop speaking to her.
    This girl is not stable and definitely not good for your well-being.