Some Friend

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by bright1, Jul 26, 2009.

  1. bright1

    bright1 Well-Known Member

    Okay, I was looking for the other post I made about this certain friend, but I can't find it. And I don't remember when I made that post or what I was going through with this friend at the time.

    So here goes: Things have been getting harder for me, and I've been trying to figure out how to hint to my friends that I'm thinking about suicide. I don't know why I felt I needed to let someone know, but not telling anyone was really eating away at me.

    So I went to a Toastmasters meeting and afterward asked my friend if he would like to go out and get a plate of nachos and something to drink. He said he would, then talked and talked about Toastmasters.

    Finally, I had to make an excuse to show him my iPod and let him look at my playlists. I waited while he scrolled down. He got to the list titled "Spiderman," and asked me about what was in it. I knew that the next list was "Suicide Music." He had to have seen it.

    He said "Hmm!" But then nothing else. He didn't ask me about it, didn't ask me how I was feeling. Nothing. Just more Toastmasters stuff.

    I know it's scary to be told that a friend is thinking about suicide. I know that people don't want to say the wrong thing and then feel responsible if their friend dies. I know that people have their own problems and dont' need to take on mine too. And I know that there's a limit to how much I can ask from a friend who's married. He has to put his family first. (That he might become attracted to me and cheat on her is not an issue--no way is he ever going to be attracted to me.)

    But it sure hurt to be ignored. It's as if he didn't care at all whether I lived or died. What do I have to do, short of wearing a large button that says "Ask me about my impending suicide?"

  2. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hi there..
    about ur 'lost post' .. some of mine were lost 2 .. i think it was the server change .. but thats sorted now :)
    im sure ur friend didnt mean 2 ignore u .. like u said ppl deal with being told - or indirectly being told - in different ways.. mabye he saw it and thought that it would be rude or nosey if he asked u ..
    i think telling some1 exacly how u feel is a big step -it is for me .. u sound like u really want 2 tell him .. it might be easier now he has an idea?
    all the best :hug:
  3. Tray

    Tray Well-Known Member

    i agree..

    Really if someone who isn't comfortable with the subject saw it would probably not know what to do. im sure that person is talking about it with someone else and trying to think if they should have said something to you. but the initial situation may have been too much. I mean i'm sure they are concerned but its not always easy for someone to talk about that stuff. And they may not have sensed any other signs before that so they could be in denial that there friend is feeling such a way.

    i say just tell them. not directly. that might freak em out. just talk about whats bothering you.