Some here get more responses than others, why?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by TheBLA, Oct 18, 2008.

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  1. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    So I've noticed that for some here, the threads they make get lots of attention and replies and for others, not much or sadly, none at all. I know one reason is some here are suffering more than others, in more danger of hurting themselves, etc, so they need the extra attention and support from here.

    But could another reason also be popularity? That the ones that get more responses to their threads have been here longer, have more friends here, go to the chat room frequently and everyone knows them, etc?

    In case I make a thread and I feel it doesn't get enough replies, is it polite to bump it up? There's just so many people on this forum, some people will stand out and others will just be a little ignored fish in a very big ocean. I feel that some people will fall through the cracks, but its also my fault for not being assertive enough here, for being very quiet and withdrawn here and in real life.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 18, 2008
  2. Snowman

    Snowman Well-Known Member

    I also sometimes feel that some people get more attention and replies due to popularity. Sometimes I read threads and I see they have no replies at all. There are many little ignored fish here.

    I sometimes want to post something to them but then I don't know what to say. :mellow: Most of the time I will type out a reply but then end up not posting it. :laugh:
     
  3. PeaceBlueFire

    PeaceBlueFire Well-Known Member

    I've noticed this problem as well. Whenever I am on I try to read and post replies to the posts that receive little attention or none at all. Sometimes all I can say is that I am here and available to listen if needed because I don't have any experience with what they are dealing with. Other times, I will share some of my personal experiences and hope it helps them a little bit.

    I do think however that we all should try harder to not let any post go unanswered. I don't believe the responsibility relies only on the person posting but also on everyone else in the forum who reply to the various posts. But that is just my personal opinion.

    Peace :)
     
  4. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    I say a lot of it is that some people feel exactly the same and can't add anything so why bother posting.

    I also admit to several times writing something but feeling that it wouldn't help or is completely inappropriate so I never actually post.
     
  5. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I don't know about other people, but i know for me, i've been here nearly three years, i make a concerted effort to reply to as many people's posts as possible, no matter how long they've been here or if i know them well. Of course i go to my friends posts first, there my friends and i would be distraught if anything happened to them, so i'll help them first. But then i will go to other people's posts and try and help them regardless of who they are.
    But sometimes i dont have the time to reply to everyone's posts, which is sad but i am sure true of everyone on this site.
     
  6. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    its a big giant popularity contest just like in real life.
     
  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Sometimes it depends on how the readers are feeling, too. If a post brings us down too far, we may not be in a place to answer it nicely or properly.

    I've also noticed that sometimes I don't see a thread the first time and a new post has to be added for the thread to be highlighted again. Sometimes I read things and just don't know what to say (and so I tiptoe away quietly and don't say anything).

    Overall, I think it's normal for any of us to wonder sometimes if others are more "popular" because their post got more replies...But it's important to ALSO KNOW that depression seems to make people very sensitive and kind of ready for bad things to happen. So, maybe when we start to worry about "popularity" as the reason, we overlook the MANY OTHER possible and likely reasons why one post got more (or less) replies than another post.

    -hugs-
     
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I don't believe it is due to popularity. Those that are active around the site may illicit more respomses simply because more people are familiar with their issues and may feel more comfortable in replying to them. Some threads you just don't know what to say or don't feel you are in a position to respond to so you steer away. I have noticed that members stop replying as much to repeated posts from the same individual When they say the same things over and over again, never accepting what has already been offered up, the member wonders why they should bother replying when they have not been listened to anyway. The reasons are as varied as the members are.
    You asked if it was okay to bump a thread. Absolutely. If you are still looking for answers or support and the issues haven't changed, bump it. Someone may have a new idea or thought.
     
  9. Anju

    Anju Well-Known Member

    Popularity doesn't seem to be the reason to me, it's if you know what to say or not...sometimes there may even be nothing to say, such as when the person seems to have placed their thoughts down but with no question or oppertunities for people to comment...:unsure:
     
  10. AlexDanish

    AlexDanish Account Closed

    Honestly, I think if you strip it all down it comes down to wether or not the person feels comfortable replying to a certain thread. Alot of people won't post if they think their post won't help.
     
  11. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    I've noticed this too. At first I thought it was simply that there were ppl in worse scenarios so they needed more help & support etc, then as time went on and I got fewer replies, I got it into my head that some ppl might have it in for me for w/e reason. I don't really say anything though cause I don't wanna sound too paranoid.
     
  12. Even if people don't know how to respond those who are popular will get the "thinking of you", "lots of hugs", "hang in there" type responses and those who aren't popular won't.
     
  13. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    ^
    that is true actually.

    Im having a fkn. terrible day. and it mean so much me that two people so kind had replied to my post in suicideforum, but even if people dont have the words, just a hug means so much.
    I dunno, made me feel even less wanted than i already do.
    but thats the nature of the beast i suppose
     
  14. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    I don't think it's always the case. Sometimes I get lots of replies to my posts, sometimes I don't.

    :dunno:
     
  15. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    well, some of us are really seriously chronic attention whores, so it's like
    sort of the natural ebb and tide of things.

    whenever I see a post that nobody has replied to, I always do. even if
    I don't know what to say. becuause it really sucks to try to say something
    and have nobody listen.

    there's a lot of people on this forum. and like real life, or rather, life OFF
    the net (cause this really is real life too) people tend to end up in
    little clusters. not always cliquey, like best buds. sometimes, people
    who antagonize one another are drawn to the same topics. so it'd be
    like, not necessarily "hey, fancy meeting you here!!"... but sometimes
    "Oh God, it's THAT ****ing jerk again..." all situations are different.

    there's a lot of replies to this thread. hey, you're doin somethin right :wink:
     
  16. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    I beg yer pardon, I'm so terribly sorry. were you saying something? I didn't
    quite catch it. rotten bit o' luck that!
     
  17. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    PFFFTTT!!!! :biggrin:

    (just kidding) tell em to speak loudly and carry an aluminum basball bat.
    I think that's what Teddy Roosevelt did. whoever the **** he was :blink:
     
  18. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member


    Haha, I had just noticed that but you posted it before I got to. :laugh:
    But I think its because others are replying here concerned about the same thing, that they aren't getting enough attention here.
    I hope I'm not being an attention whore as you were mentioning earlier. Do you think that HappyAZaClaM? :unsure: :unsure:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 20, 2008
  19. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    You know I think its a combination of everything people have said.

    - The element of popularity. There are some definate "friendly groupings" on the site. Its not just one, its several.
    - Some people ARE definate attention whores, sorry to say it, but ive witnessed it many times in 2 years on SF
    - Whether someone has something useful to say. Not much point repeating whats been said a billion times.
    - Whether someone is even in the mood. This is a depression and suicide forum after all. Half the time im a zombie when I visit this site

    For me it boils down to whether I know the person, I freely admit I mostly post in response to people I know, and also whether I feel ive got anything useful to say, or feel like typing it. Sometimes I post in response to people I dont know, but only when I feel I can make a genuine contribution and a thoughtful post, but im naturally retarded when it comes to reaching out to people anyway, ask anyone.

    So ya..
     
  20. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    MJ, could you please elaborate on this? How can you tell?

    I don't think Can you really blame some people here for being that way, many of us here are suffering very much and may want many to pay attention to us, especially when I'm betting they get very little or none in their life. They may be very lonely or driven off their friends and loved ones because of their depression and suicidal thoughts/actions.
     
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