some humour

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by hope23, Nov 19, 2007.

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  1. hope23

    hope23 Active Member

    Don't know if this is the right place for it but I thought I'd share some things that have made me laugh recently.

    Real notes in patients' charts (these are old but still hilarious)

    1. She has no rigors or shaking chills , but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
    2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
    3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
    4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
    5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
    6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
    7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert butforgetful.
    8. The patient refused autopsy.
    9. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
    10. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
    11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
    12. She is numb from her toes down.
    13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
    14. The skin was moist and dry.
    15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
    16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
    17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
    18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
    19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
    20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
    21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
    22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
    23. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
    24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
    25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
    26. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
    27. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
    28. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
  2. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    :rofl: me loves it :laugh:
  4. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

  5. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hehe some of those are just plain dumb.
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

  7. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    :rofl: particularly loved 15, 26, and 28
  8. jm86

    jm86 New Member

  9. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

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