Some jokes I heard.

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I mixed up my "happy" pills and my "pissed off" pills this morning and took one of each. So I'm pissed off, but I'm happy about it.

I feel sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night. He hypnotized 7 men, then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled "FUCK ME!" What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life.
 
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