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Some people are so mean!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by White Dove, Sep 25, 2010.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    I mean,

    They just do not care what they say or who it hurts.

    Some dumb idiot told DHS that i abused my father. I have never ever abused my father. I love him, he is the only thing holding me here right now.

    And i even went as far as calling my minister and told him about this, he said not worry about it but i can not keep from worrying. my camper has huge holes in the roof, if they come in and see it they will condemn it and i will have no where to go.

    i am trying to better myself and each time i try i get sidewacked with something else. Right now i am in the police academy. i was actually able to get in after many tries and now this starts up. I am sick of it, tired of it all, and fed up.

    When i talked with my minister last night he told me to come to church sunday, i told him i would be dead by monday and he just shurged it off, like he really could care less..
  2. Shezz

    Shezz Member

    The minister is an ijit.

    For him to shrug this off show that he doesn't really believe you. I do, though. I've seen people go through it...then I never see them again.

    Please don't do this, Dovey. You JUST got into the academy...that's a victory.

    I believe you. I know that you couldn't abuse your father...it's a shame people tell lies without even blinking...I've had that. We all have.

    Please don't end your life, girlie. Not while you've gotten this far.


    We are one here...we will feel it if you leave. So don't leave. Please...
  3. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    aww thanks hun,

    i have made threats before and a few attempts. Heck look how many posts i have on this forum? a lot, but not all of them are attemps i have tried to help others.. i even posted on a local forum a simple hi but it is to see if anyone cares enough to say hi back..

    yeah. i got into the academy because my life long dream is to be a state trooper.. in class the other night they showed us how to make a felony stop and about the south carolina trooper mark coates that was killed when he pulled over a guy. they use that vidio as training..

    but no matter what i do i just simply cant get ahead.. i always end up back down again and i am tired of it...

    i lost my mom to cancer, my older brother to a murder, my mobile home destroyed by an arsonist, etc and no conviction on any of it.. part of why i want to be a officer to help others get the justice that they need because i never got mine...

    i don't know why things always go this way for me. i sometimes get told it is my fault, i mean really maybe it is my fault, my fault because i did not succeed at my attempts?

    i don't know? i am going to go back to that site in a bit and see if anyone has said hi to me or not...

    so people just got no reguards as to how much or little a push they can do to make someone do something...
  4. Shezz

    Shezz Member

    Yeah, it's devastating to see how people can react to a person's cries for help, or even a true vow to end it.

    I'm sorry about your family and your home. That's a vicious turn of events. But at least you know that there are folks who still care. That in itself is another victory.

    We will always be here to answer your call. And we'll help you in any way we can. Just hang in there. Don't let go.

  5. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    yeah, i know you guys are..

    i have to admit this site has saved me before..

    I just don't understand why sometimes. it seems when i talk with my minister A.W. he does not really listen to what i have to say..he kept getting other phone calls so they are more important then me right now.. he told me to call him again but i don't think i will. He would not take the time to even care or listen anyhow...

    i think i will try my luck at some games here just before i.. it might help get my mind off things, wonder if there any new games here,lol..
  6. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    gees i don't feel like playing any games

    i think i will just read a little bit here.
  7. Shezz

    Shezz Member

    LOL...I don't feel like playing games either!

    Just finished some work I took home from the office...oy.

    Just gonna look around a bit & then go to bed..already had 3 beers for the night.

    But yeah...don't be drunkie like me yeh?


  8. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member


    i think i need to drink some..

    well, not really.. i think i could do it without drinking anything right now..

    guess its just the true fact i can do it an i wonder how the minister will react if he happens to see an obit for me? He reads the paper and obituarys constantly. I wonder would he question not talking to me longer? would he wished he had talked with me more?

    oh well, don't need to worry about his reaction cause i got my own dang problems..lol
  9. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    well, i went back to the local site.

    people have viewed it but no one has said hi back to me which means i am unloved, unwanted, and ununderstood i supose?

    well not going to worry about them nor their reactions when they get the news... but i bet ya next time someone says hi or has the problems i am facing will at least say hi back in hopes they will not do what i did, and if they don't i really don't care either...

    my problems will all be solved and gone in a few hours anyhow..
  10. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi White Dove...good to see you thought of us...sounds like you cannot catch a break...I know how that feels...please don't let others get you to a point where you doubt your strength...hold on tight and know that no matter what ppl say or do, you are the person you are...welcome back and be safe, big hugs, J
  11. JTM

    JTM Member

    You have a burning, bright passion, and you are doing exactly the right thing by getting into the academy.

    You were born to do what you are training to do - please, please keep training! :)
  12. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hello White Dove. I know that I have never met you. But I want to say that I am so sorry to hear what you have been accused of. I do believe you when you say that this is the furthest thing from the truth.

    I am sorry that your minister shrugged it off. That was thoughtless and callouse of him. Those actions speak about who he is. Or a side of him that perhaps most people do not get to see. Although, maybe the opposite reaction would have been even worse. Some people would have silently called the police in, in secrecy and fear, to save you from killing yourself.

    I belong to another mental health website, I cannot start a thread there because I feel so uncared for if lots of people read it and do not respond. But thats sort of the way it works. I do not really think that it means we are unloved if someone does not respond. Although I surely know the feeling it elicits. And I am sorry you are feeling the pain of that. As I said, I dont even start threads there. And I have asked that threads be removed, for this reason here and at the other place.

    I wish I knew why some people have so much adversity in life. But I have seen many times situations where peoples lives progress in what I call chapters. Chapter one may be about the adversity. The never ending pain and seemingly endless adversity. And then chapter 2 begins the healing work. Chapter 3 is about healing work continuing and good things happening. I have seen it. And I wish this for you. I truely do. Sending safe hugs for you.
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You do have alot of strength white dove For you to get into the acadamy wow that takes alot of strength and intelligence. I think someone is looking down on you and helping you now. Keep up the great work okay follow your dream so you can help others that cannot help themselves. Ithink you are a very special person for what you are doing and i hope you contine to believe in yourself.
    Your minister well maybe try a different church with a minister who will care and listen to you.
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