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Some people just don't want 'life'?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by darkrider, Oct 7, 2009.

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  1. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    I feel as a person i've never really wanted to live at all.

    I cannot move forward because there is nothing that interests me, no majors at college, nothing. I've been in this situation for 3 years. I am lucky that my parents support me but thats another subject.

    I do not seem to want people, whilst deep inside of me I want attention. I think I have selective mutism, and i'm just quiet and don't socialise well at all. People don't talk to me.

    I spend most of my time pissing it away on the computer or the tv. I have turned into the most unproductive person in the world.

    I no longer value myself, my intelligence or my looks. I don't respect myself any longer. I think people see me as dirt or ignore me. I despise people in general and the world angers me.

    I see little enjoyment in life.. or the enjoyment that could be will be few and far between and limited. In reality there is no enjoyment. I don't think even the perfect woman would make me happy any more. I see life as totally vacuous and serves to break me down day after day year after year.

    I think I should take all value that I still have, and good reasoning and end it as soon as possible, and get out of here. I am totally alone in this life and there is no justification to carry on. Being social creatures I cannot live my life ignored and in isolation any longer.
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    What were your interests up to 3 years ago? Coming here will help you to begin to get out of the isolation.

  3. Vangelis

    Vangelis Well-Known Member

    People like you honestly are the ones I despise, or ungrateful for what's been giving to them. You have something that I envy and have always wanted, but you can't pull yourself or find yourself and you turn to suicide as a way. Maybe it's not the world that should help you out in the answers you seek, but perhaps yourself. You should make yourself happy, find enjoyment in yourself rather than others. I'm a loner to some degree and it's alright. I'm not in any drama, I'm immune to drama if it comes my way, and it's somewhat peaceful. You're in that time of life when you're innate for a bit, but eventually you'll find something on internet or TV that will motivate you again.
  4. I need help

    I need help Well-Known Member

    I'm sure you're not the most unproductive person in the world!!!..I feel this way some of the time..but when I calm down and try to really think about it...-you dont have to follow a certain path in life..the one this society we live in follows..there has to be another way...there are lots of different people that do a lot of different things and live in different lifestyles and are happier..we don't have to follow this society's "mainstream" style....

    I think it sounded better in my head :(
    anyway, I'm here if you wanna talk....
  5. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    Vangelis, that was too harsh, sorry, just my opinion. Most people don't understand that when in the grip of deep overwhelming, soul destroying depression, it is impossible to pull yourself up, or find yourself. You hate yourself and it feels like everybody else hates you too. Helping yourself is wayyyy beyond your capabilities.... because, you dont feel worthy of help... not even from yourself.

    I understand this very well because I'm feeling exactly the same way my self so, I am here for you as much as I can be Darkrider.

    Lea :hug:
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