Some People make me....

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by White Dove, Aug 22, 2007.

  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    I am so sick of this shit..

    yes im cursiung , yes im mad..

    maybe i just need to cool off or something but i hate it when others will flat out call me a liar when i am NOT ONE ANYMORE....

    GOD DAMN IT I AM SO SICK OF BEING thrown up my stupid pathic PAST life..

    When my car starts im outta here. im going to get drunk and drive as fast as i can into a tree and end it.

    sure fire way there.

    the HELL WITH this world and the people...

    i have been holding back so long that im not doing it anymore..
    im cursing

    and no i am not A good Christian..

    i have been back slidding and mad at GOD cause he gave me this stupid cancer and im sick of it.

    i dont want it.

    i refuse to belive i got it and im getting my life out of it before i get sick enough to have to believe it.

    so the hell with everything.

    tonight is perfect , just perfect...

    so screw this GOD DAMN WORLD.........
  2. shadi_saleh

    shadi_saleh Active Member

    I don't have any cancer, so I can't say that I remotely would know how you are feeling. I don't even think I could be strong enough as you to struggle and fight for so long. But please do hold on, and don't act on impulse. You've made it so far, so don't let all your efforts go to waste. I can only imagine how distraught you must feel... but don't let it overtake you.
  3. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    its so hard not too..

    calling me full of crap is like calling me a liar and is a major trigger toward me..

    True i have had a past of telling hal;f truths and things but i want that to stay buried cause i dont do that anymore and i want that to stay buried and when others bring it up it makes me mad..

    i do have a problem with tempor and i have been kind of holding back but i cant anymore.. i cant hold back anymore.

    i want those that hurt me to know good and damn well just how much they hurt me... i dont know whyi want them to know they hurt me i just do....
  4. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Please do not do this Susan. First of all, you may hurt someone else...I know you don't want that. Secondly, drunks (because the alcohol actually makes you looser and more flexible) often survive these horrible accidents but with much worse consequences, Thirdly, you and I both know that God has stopped you from doing this countless times. It is NOT his will, Susan...stay with us please. :hug:
  5. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    I wont be drunk enough to hit anyone else..

    and my car is a 1987 which means it has no air bags...

    going to see if it will start now.. if it does im outta here.

    if not well i will be back in a few..
  6. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Susan, it is easy to do the wrong thing when you are drunk and your judgement is impaired...please stay and fight for your peace of mind.
  7. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    Almost started it turned over a little bit..

    give it one more hour.

    i can get beer at any krogers so i am not worried about that...

    when irt starts im going offline and going..

    been waiting a long time to get just the right amount of time and oppertunity ..
  8. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    I will be very sad and hurt if you do this Susan. I was looking forward to meeting you and to seeing you come through your emotional problems. I cannot stop you from doing what you seem to want to do, but you cannot reverse cannot change it. While you live, there is always a chance for your life to change. Please stay.