Somebody help me

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by 110812, Feb 5, 2013.

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  1. 110812

    110812 Member

    I tried to stop a young girl who I didn't know from killing herself. This was three months ago. I'm still struggling. Anyone else experience this? She killed herself right in front of me. I still feel the pain and anxiety of those moments when I tried to get her to stop. I tried to get her< edit mod method> but I couldn't help her. Has anyone witnessed a stranger suicide? Tried to stop it from happening and was unable to do that? Please someone respond. I don't understand why I was the one who stopped and begged her not to jump. I don't understand why I am feeling the way I am. I feel like running away from my husband and kids. I feel like I want to leave my husband. Sometimes I want to jump off the bridge. I feel like something in my life needs to change. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 5, 2013
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun sounds like you need help now hun what you are experiencing is post trauma hun. You need to talk to your doctor ok get some therapy to help you heal from this.
    You did all you could hun and i wish now you could do something for you ok get the help you need now to deal with this after mass.
  3. 110812

    110812 Member

    Thank you. I am on meds and see a doctor, everything was better for a month is so and now it's crashing back down on me.
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Many people coping with PTSD will see a therapist weekly in addition to meds. Try looking for a specialist support group often under heading 'suicide survivor' ( those affected by the suicide of someone else). Keep on coming here. Hope you find us helpful.
  5. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    I'm very sorry you have and are going through this. I do hope that you continue to talk to your doctor about how you are feeling so you can regain your understanding and control over it.
    Sometimes in life there are things that happen to us that we can't control. The situation you endured is extremely painful. Seeing and being around someone who is suicidal can be very distressing to anyones life. Especially to those who don't harbour those thoughts and feelings. It's almost like two different views of the samething, where you have had your way of life, and never had certain thoughts or possibilities exist. Whereas someone who is suicidal challenges the very fabric of what keeps us all here to a certain degree. .. which is difficult even just in conversation at the best of times.
    You've literally endured someones final moments and that's extremely distressing. But please don't let this persons life, and their choices change or make you feel anything that you wouldn't have prior to this situation. I know it's easy to say, but eventually, you will come to truth that this person made their choice on their own. And you did the absolute best for them during those moments. You didn't ask to be there, they didn't ask for you to be there. It just happened. You, just as anyone else would, did your best. But sometimes even in our best, it's not what that person needed. I hope in time you realize that you can't take this situation to your heart as a reflection on yourself at all. But I do think that if is causing you to question things and feel differently about things in your normal life, that you talk to someone about it. Because that's sorta what happens when a extreme situation hits us. It'll resonate and contrast itself against things in our normal life. And sometimes that presence can get in the way of you just being able to be yourself. It can cause you to question and then doubt even the very things that you are actually brilliant at. That's sorta a part of an unknown, it can sometimes spread and make you feel off about normal things. I'm not sure how you're taking it, but it literally is what it is. A person had their life in their hands, and they made a choice, for their own life. The situation that you were put in is an extremely difficult one,.. and please it is no reflection on you. Sometimes there are things we can't do anything about. Not because of incapability per say, but because it wasn't ours to do anything about. You can only do so much, the rest is in the others hands. And by the sounds of it, you gave that person the greatest opportunity anyone could ask for. I'm truly sorry it ended the way it did, but.. you tried and that's something to be really proud of.
    Anyhow... please stick around. Pass a moment around if you need about how you are feeling. Maybe try to get a regular councilour that you can call up when you're feeling off. Eventually I hope you'll be able to appricate how you feel and find that grounding in it. It does get better, just remember who you are. It may take sometime to quell those feelings, but you will if you keep talking and re-affirming the realities of it.

    Kind regards
  6. Butterfly

    Butterfly Resident SF Sims Enthusiast Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I'm sorry to hear this hun. This must have been extremely distressing to witness and experience. It sounds like post traumatic stress disorder, and with regular counselling or therapy sessions it can be overcome. Remember that when you are struggling, reach out to the professionals and your loved ones to keep you strong and keep you going :hug:
  7. 110812

    110812 Member

    Thank you
  8. 110812

    110812 Member

    Your words really resonated with me. Thank you for taking the time to post such an in depth response. I really feel that I am questioning my position in life. I was happy before this and now I just want to run away from my family, I feel trapped. I feel this burden on my shoulders. My husband and I were getting through a rough bump in our marriage right before this happened. I think I want a divorce, but I do not want to break up our family. I feel like I have to make a decision. I just can't right now. My reality is just like you said, I feel "off" about normal things in my life, that I may have felt before but now the feelings are magnified. I shouldn't make any life changing decisions right now, I know. I just can't escape this pressure of feeling like I have to change something major in my life. Thanks for listening. Your words have helped me tremendously.
  9. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    You are wish not to make any decisions now. One needs to be at ones best when carrying out major changes to one's life. Think about them and what they may involve but wait till you have recovered at least a little. Kind and loving regards to you.
  10. guage

    guage Well-Known Member

    I kinda know how you feel, although I never had a chance to even say think about it before you do it. I have struggled with suicidal thought since I was five . One day when I was 14 be and a buddy were cleaning our guns and the subject came up , we talked for about 10 minuets about why we shouldn't do it , then <edit mod triggering >,friend was gone. I didn't know even how to react except that I had to jump up and keep his 12 year old sister from going into the living room , just seeing me catch her in the hallway she knew it was bad , I mean i was <edit mod triggering> and in shock and then held for questioning for 18 hours before I could even change my shirt, they wanted me to say I did it even though all the evidence shows I didn't do it , yea , that was a little traumatizing, which about 20 years later its still there , and was kinda numbing during my stent in the army , but was helpful in me controlling my emotions during combat , so at least something a tiny bit positive came from it , you have no control over others actions , but with this you have a better insight that most others don't , maybe that will come into play someday and possibly give you the opportunity to help someone else . Hope that kinda helps . Oh as for the dreams I put something on the tv that keeps my subconscious mind bringing it up , it works 50/50
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 8, 2013
  11. 110812

    110812 Member

    I'm so sorry you went through such a traumatic event. Thank you for your response. It's hard sometimes isn't it? I can imagine you do know how I feel so I'm glad you shared your story with me.
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