Somebody PLEASE help me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Brad, Jan 18, 2012.

  1. Brad

    Brad Member

    Im 18year old male. Im a freshman in college. I come from a loving family and have lots of friends. This may seem like a good life, right?? wrong. I dont know what is wrong with me, I hate going through the day as myself. I hate how I look, hate the way I act. Im curious about suicide, im scared of it tho, but ive been thinking lately, what the hell is the point of living if you hate the life you live and see no way of changing it. Im afraid. Afraid to change who I am, I let people walk all over me and avoid confrontation at all cost. I let others dictate how I should live instead of doing what I want, I just want something in my life to fucking go as i wanted it. As i said, I have friends, but I dont like to hang out with them, Id rather think about myself and reflect upon me at home. Ive dated girls before but I am in no way mentally able to have a girlfriend right now, and my friends tease me for that because they dont know....nobody knows, everybody, including my family thinks im so happy because i hide behind a stupid fake smile alll day and never tell anyone how Im really feeling. I feel lazy, unappreciated, like nobody actually truly likes me, they just tolerate me and dont mind being with me, i get looked over by many. I need help, but too afraid to get it, instead i go on here and write this, im even to afraid to make a profile with my real name, its john not brad. How fucking sad is that. I just want this to end, to be happy for one god damn day, but nope, ill never change, and telling you guys on here wont help me, i guess im just ranting, because you can leave nice comments but I dont know how to fix this actually.

    Thanks for reading, I do really appreciate that on the other hand.

    -John
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 18, 2012
  2. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    I responded to your other one that you posted. I'm sorry that you going through this difficult time :( I've currently found this site useful because everyone is understand and not judgmental. I also don't mind an occasional rant because it helps get stuff off my chest. I'll ask this question thought. Have you thought about or asked for professional help? Sometimes talking to professionals help. For me it's difficult but I plan to go see one this month. Remember your not alone and I'm an 18 year old male going to community college. I suffer from suicidal thoughts and mild depression episodes. Thanks for opening up thought it's a major step forward.

    Trevor,
     
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I know how you feel, but you can't let people walk all over you or you'll never be happy. I have trouble standing up for myself too, but if you are firm and let them know you won't take their crap, they'll take you more seriously than if you let them treat you like a doormat. There's always a way to change the way your life is going. Think about what you dislike and then think of how you want things to be. Try to go about changing it, a little at a time, it may not be easy but it will be for the best. You don't have to be around friends or family or anyone if you don't really want to, it can be good to be by yourself sometimes. If your friends make fun of you for something or you aren't happy with them, then make new ones. There are people out there who will appreciate you for who you are. I know you said you don't think you can change, or that nothing will help, but there are a lot of people here who are going through the same things you are and know how you feel. It's good that you are at least posting here because it's better than keeping it all inside. It might not mean much that I'm writing this since you don't even know me, but I care how you're feeling and hope things do get better for you. So if you want to talk, you can talk to me. If you don't want to talk, that's ok, but at least consider what I told you.
     
  4. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    Agreed with what Christy said. You can talk to any of us at anytime or you don't have to. But you've made a major step forward by sharing your feelings with us. I hope you continue to do so. There's no pressure in our advice just consideration.

    Trevor,
     
  5. whoa

    whoa Member

    Hey John...your post made me cry, im in the same boat as you(age and everything lol)

    its good to know im not alone.
     
  6. Brad

    Brad Member

    I have thought about this actually, the mental health services at my school are free....but the reason that im hesitant is bc I feel as if others have more important problems than me...do I sound mentally unstable from my first post? please answer that truthfully, because I wrote that 100% honest. If I do seem unstable, then I will pursue attention. thanks man
     
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    That's good that you can get free help, you should definitely go for it. I'm sure that other people have problems but that doesn't mean they are more important than yours. I think that you could benefit from getting the help, at least it will help you feel better about yourself.
     
  8. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    Agreed your just as important as anyone else who seeks help. That's awesome though that you are considering to do it, and I can understand why your hesitant to go. Also don't concern yourself about the others, I'm sure you can get in to seek help like they did because everyone can get seen. Your taking a step forward by thinking about help.

    Trevor,