Somebody that I used to know.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Codyy, Mar 7, 2012.

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  1. Codyy

    Codyy Member

    Where to start :dry:
    I'm 18, had a rough life. Parents divorced at age of 1 and my farther didn't know how to reat a son cause he was also abused as a kid so I was verbally abused for 13 years of my life. At age of 14 I was helping my dad do a remodel job and I got in the way (again im 14, still young) and he said " God damnit Cody get the fuck out of the way and take care of the trash! Sometimes I wonder if I was etter off not having a fucking kid" So i got tired of the abuse and told him fuck you, left and called my mom and didnt talk to him rest of the day. next day i tried to commit suicide. Ended up not fully coming threw, ended up in a hospital and told my dad i don't want to talk to him ever again. last words i told him were Fuck you. At age of 17 he died. He overdosed on cocaine and on his letter of apologys was a page apologizing to me, i found out about the letter a month ago. Since then I've been very depressed iwth suicide thoughts. My dads death is not the only cause but a huge factor, I've fucked up my life by dropping out, getting GED, doing drugs to hide my pain, trying to make a living as an 18 year old is rough, im stressed, still young and have no one to cry to. Where do we go when we die, what is so worth staying up here, its just a fucking life; we all die at some point.
    I used to be happy. not anymore.
    I told my girlfriends my problems and she is too busy tryin to make new friends on facebook than respond.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 7, 2012
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun so sorry you lost your father It was not your fault hun he was so deep in pain from his own past You are doing good coming here reachng out for some support. I hope you can go to your doctor hun and get some help to deal with all this sadness you are holding inside you Please know you can pm me anytime okay hugs to you
  3. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords If you're 555, then I'm 666.

    What drugs are you or have you been on, exactly? I've done heroin a few times, and honestly, I think that's one of the toughest to break free from. Also sorry about your GF being inconsiderate.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm so sorry for your losses, I lost my best friend last Saturday so I can relate. :hug: Sorry you're going through a rough time but remember that it WILL pass.
  5. Codyy

    Codyy Member

    Cocaine, thats also what my dad od'd on.
    I really don't care about the future, like why do we try so hard if were gunna die at somepoint anyway.
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