I have a friend. I guess it's more than a friendship. If we could, we would be together. I love him. But for now, distance keeps us apart. He's very depressed. Suicidal. He's constantly telling me he's going to do it. I know he loves me. And I tell him to live for me. And maybe that is what has kept him here for now. But I don't think it's enough. Nothing I say or do helps him. Nothing. He's tried and been in and out of the hospital. He has nobody where he is. Nobody to be there for him. And I can only be there for him so much. Every time I don't hear from him for a bit, I feel sick. I'm so afraid one day someone else will pick up the phone and tell me he's passed away. I don't know what I'd do... I have had a hard enough time keeping myself together with what I have going on in my own life. If he's gone, I...don't even know. And realistically, I know it won't be my fault but that is what I'll believe. It will be my fault. I could have done something more. This makes me a terrible person, I know. But a part of my just wants him to be at peace. He's tried it all. There's nothing in this world that has helped him over the last 15 years. And it breaks my heart to see him suffer. I would never, ever tell him it was ok to do it. But if he does, maybe he'll finally be happy. That's all I want. I would die for him. Right now, if it made him happy. Every time I talk to him, I'm afraid it's going to be the last. It's killing me. It's all I think about. I..can't function. I'm going to be the last person he talks to before he does it. How do I live with that? I know this is not good for me...but I will never just abandon him and forget about him. I can't. I need him. I can't just call 911 on him...that has happened before and he just convinced them to go away and he'll do it again. I just..I don't know what I'm supposed to do... Please don't tell me he is being selfish and hurting me. He's not. He's tried so hard ... it's not his fault. I tell him I love him everyday and that I need him. I do...if he goes, I think I might too... Please someone tell me what to do...tell me something please..