I'd love to be able to talk to someone besides my ex about everything that is going on. She is the only one that really supports me and today she told me stop iming her. She can't be my therapist. I can't keep burdening her. It'd be nice to talk to someone else about what's going on in my life. I can't talk to my parents, and I don't have that many friends (or at least ones that would understand). Lately I've been going on craigslist looking for sex because my loneliness is that bad. And friendship isn't enough. I need someone to hold me and take care of me. I need protection. From the world. Because I've been raised to believe the world is not safe. We all have. My Mom and Dad don't think I need therapy. They are kind of supportive but not really. They don't know how easy it would be for me to do it, and how often I think about it, and consider it more and more each day. There is no relief. Forever every day it gets worse and worse. Never better. Never a good day. Or wow this was nice then back to hell. It's progressively worse with zero break. And oh it'd be so nice just if someone would understand me. Would understand anything I'm talking about. On craiglist when I'm looking for sex what I'm really looking for is someone to treat me like a little kid. I want to be five. No, back in the womb. When I was little, I never wanted to leave the stroller. I remember my parents telling me it was time to walk, but I didn't want to. What happened? :cry: Lately all I do is lie around holding a teddy bear. I'm fucking 19 years old! Will I be 40 begging for my mother?