someone please help me...im desperate

im so on the edge of wanting to kill myself, i feel horrible..i argued with my best friend usahana last night, and we kinda fought cause i wasnt acting very nice..i realized im such a selfish person..im a very bad person..:unsure: i have tried to guilt trip and pray my friends wouldnt commit suicide, just simply because i dont want to feel like that agian..i see nothing but my friends killing themselves, and theres nothing i can do..i cant help them, and i feel so selfish..all i do is whine and complain, like now..i dont even help anyone else since i lost agnes, all i do is just cry and whine..and then i lose someone else i didnt want to and the mental abuse is killing me..my fathers mental abuse is hard..and then im having to deal with stacks of bills, my friends killing themselves, losing the one i loved, my own realization of my selfishness, the fact i know im a horrible person, everything..i dont even know of anything thats worth living for anymore..im sorry, but i have nothing, and i want to hurry up and ris myself before i hurt someone else.. i dont want to hurt poeple, i dont..i love my friend usahana, but im being so mean to her i cant stand it..i want to cut myself so badly cause its the only way i know to show how truly sorry i am..i just am tired of hurting poeple..i hurt everyone. im tired of it..:sad: i am such a bad person, i even tried to make agnes stay with me, she must hate me trying to get her to stay with me.and because i was selfish shes no longer with me,..its what i deserve..to be alone..i should be alone..right? i couldnt hurt anyone....right?:sad:

 

No one deserves to be completely alone, I know this all too well. Companionship can do wonders for your state of mind. I am sorry you are so sad, but things will get better, you are not a horrible selfish person like you say you are. You are only human & humans make mistakes. Try and hold on.

 

This is one of the reasons i stay detached from everyone here. I come to rant and to read, but i know that if someone here dies it's not my fault.
Angel you have enough troubles in your own life, without taking on other peoples problems. Agnes made her own choice, and you are not responsible for her or anyone else here.
Since when did being selfish become such a bad thing.
You have to concentrate on yourself, and get yourself together, before you can take on someone elses burden. A problem shared can sometimes be a problem halved, but not always. Take the world off your shoulders for awhile.

 

I agree with Daze about this. I dont know who Agnes is, probably someone who has been on SF, and she is not anymore among us... But, if this is true, i think she has made her decision, and you have to recpect her. I think we all here want to be understood and we want our decisions to be respected, no mather how it will look for the others. And, if someone wants to tell me a few words about Agnes, i would like to read them...

 

Thank yo uso much everyone..really...youre responses mean a lot..thank you
****************hugs and kisses for al**********

 

I made a promise to Agnes that if she were to die, then I would all that I can to make sure that you don't go too Angel, and that's what I'm going to do. I'm here for you bro. You're a great person and you try your best to help people.

 

Angel, you are not a bad person. Do you not listen at all to the wonderful things I say about you? They're true. You are an amazingly caring individual. I love you so much, sweetie. I wasn't even that mad at you to begin with, just a little irritated. Like Daze&Confused said, you aren't to be held responsible for anyones actions. You've done absolutely nothing wrong. You're just a loving firend who wants the best for people as well as yourself. You care so much. You just want to be happy and nothing is wrong with that, sweet heart. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. And I love you sooooo very much. :hug:

 

Things we say in anger, do not come from the heart....

 

I love you hun, oh so very much..im sorry i was a jerk the other night, i really am..i just felt soooo bad and i do still..im sorry sweetie..******hugs******* and dave thank you, thank you so much...to ugly to be loved, thank you hun, i love everyone! *****hugs****