Someone please help me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by fallingawayfromME, Dec 10, 2012.

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  1. fallingawayfromME

    fallingawayfromME Well-Known Member

    I'm posting this from my iPhone so I hope there aren't too many typos. I really need some support right now. Short story of what happened to me. I drive for a living. I also have major depression. Anyone who has read my few threads also knows I have a history of a suicide attempt. Well my job took it upon themselves to disqualify me for a year from driving because 1) I have major depression (which my psych said was under control) and 2) because I have a history of a suicide attempt. Consequently I have been on disability for the next year and I had to move back with my mom because I won't be making enough money to survive on my own for the next year. I haven't been home in 24 years. All this time I've been on my own and self sufficient. I feel like such a failure right now and I just feel worthless and stupid. I don't want to get desperate because I know how fast I can spiral down and I don't want to hurt myself. I just feel as a man I have failed myself and I don't see where I matter anymore. Please someone, anyone help me. Sorry if I sound whiny, I really don't mean to whine. I just am in a bad place right now. Please.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is awful what happened and very understandable how you feel...that does not mean you are worthless nor does it mean that you cannot find value in something else...I surely know what it is like to have to make accommodations for an illness, and it is not easy at all
     
  3. fallingawayfromME

    fallingawayfromME Well-Known Member

    thank you for your support and understanding.
     
  4. Ninjachef

    Ninjachef Member

    Hello...

    I'm sorry you're having a tough time right now. But from reading your post what I can say is this, you certainly aren't a failure, as indicated by the fact that you have been self-sufficient for 24 years. It seems unfair that your job took it upon themselves to disqualify you from employment, for something that you were doing your best to manage. However, you need to look at the situation for what it is and that is simply one that was brought about by something you had no control over. I can definitely understand your feelings of self doubt as they pertain to being in your Mom's house after such a long time on your own. I say this because I find myself in the exact same situation as you currently, living with my parent. I had the same emotions, but came to realize that the situation is temporary and occurred more or less out of my control. Don't beat yourself up over someone else's decision. Take the time to regroup and try to keep a positive outlook as best you can. Getting down on yourself will only lengthen the amount of time you will have to spend in your current predicament at the very least... See it as it is, unfortunate... But it is not a synopsis of your failure as a person. Take care and PM me if you need to chat. You were on your own before this and you will be after.

    Ninja
     
  5. fallingawayfromME

    fallingawayfromME Well-Known Member

    I know I should be thankful to be able to have a home to come back to since some people don't even have that. I'm just a person who doesn't do well with change. I forget what it's called, it may be adjustment disorder. I keep trying to tell myself that I am still a man of worth it's just hard right now.
     
  6. fallingawayfromME

    fallingawayfromME Well-Known Member

    Thank you
     
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You are still definitely a man of worth. What happened has got to be frustrating, but it isn't your fault and doesn't make you a failure. I believe that you can and will get back on your feet!
     
  8. Powerpuff

    Powerpuff Active Member

    As others have already said, you are not a failure, your employer has put you in a bad position for employment. If no one will employ you, then become the employer. What I mean is try and work for yourself, I know this can tough to do but others have. And you being 24 years self sufficient means you have the know how to get along in life. You are at a temporary road block in life, certainly not a failure. I hope the best for you.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 10, 2012
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