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Someone please help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Amoron, Jul 27, 2013.

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  1. Amoron

    Amoron New Member

    This IS a cry for help. I'm lost.

    I've suffered with depression for 20+ years and made some really stupid decisions recently that have cost me my family, home, friends and everything else that i've ever held dear.

    I now have 5 days to find somewhere to live with no money, no job, no prospects, no chance of credit to help and pretty much nowhere to turn. I've got no idea on what to do.

    I feel like a total failure and can't see any light appearing any time soon. I've let everyone down and just want to disappear as soon as i can, i just need this pain to stop. I'm not sure i could actually go through with it if i'm honest but it's on my mind constantly and i've started drinking heavily so i'm fearful now that i'm just going to do something very stupid. I took an overdose when i was 17 but luckily got help quickly. I'm alone all week and im going to be drinking every day just to get through, i know it.

    Where can i get help now?

    BTW, people say looks don't matter but i'm 40 years old, overweight, blad, teeth missing, shy and awkward...................
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    If you are in danger of ending up on the streets, get in touch with Shelter http://england.shelter.org.uk/
    and also your nearest Citizens Advice Bureau.
    If you are on benefits you maybe able to get help with any deposit needed for a bedsit/flat, CAB office will have that sort of info.
  3. Amoron

    Amoron New Member

    No i don't get benefits due to bad advice which is partly why i'm in this state.

    I've had enough to be honest. I'm going to neck this vodka and just see where tomorrow ends i tihnk. Go out on a high i reckon.
    All the best and thanks for the reply.
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Monday, do try out the CAB office and Shelter, you never know what help is available.
    Is the family situation as bad as you think it is?
  5. Amoron

    Amoron New Member

    It's far worse than i could describe here, they're all sick of it. As am I. People like me were made for dying young.

    Thanks for the advice.
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I don't have any literal advice, although I wish I did. Just offering support and a listening ear if you need either.
  7. Mayflower7

    Mayflower7 Banned Member

    Hi Amoron,
    Please get some help, they can Re-asses your benefits. Please see your GP on Monday as well for medical help. Please stop the drinking, it numbs you but won't help as you will be more depressed and unable to think clearly. People make mistakes, you should not be punished for that.
    Social services can help as you are vulnerable and need help right now. Other charities for the homeless in your area is an option.
    I hope things get better for you really soon.
    Take care
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Amoron, I know things seem extremely hard for you right now but with the right support you can get through it. Drinking is likely to make you feel worse than you already do,. Keep using this forum for support and look out for what support you can receive IRL. I'm sorry to see you in this situation and I hope you get through it. Good luck to you.
  9. Amoron

    Amoron New Member

    Thank you for the replies. I've just come back on because it's all come to a head now. I was hoping against hope that things coudl be fixed but i've messed up once to often and there's nothing i can do.

    Life without my family is unthinkable and the thought of living in a hostel or bedsit all alone while they all move on is just killing me. I can't sleep, I can't eat and honestly just want to have a massive heart attack or something that'll stop the pain.

    Is there anyone that's gone through something similar and come out the other side? I just can't see beyond drinking myself into a suicidal haze at the moment and i've got no one in the real world i can talk to.

    Please someone help, please. I don't know what i'm doing anymore.
  10. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hiya. It seems you're between the proverbial rock and hard place. And I think you're feeling a little panicked, which is completely understandable.

    Could you tolerate a hostel or bedsit for a short period of time? It doesn't have to be forever; it's just to get you through this rough patch. With so much going on, few of us could think straight to make plans to improve life. I think that if you could get some stability by putting a roof over your head, however humble, then maybe you'll feel more like setting goals to make things better.

    I hope you don't let your feelings of discouragement overwhelm you. Give yourself a chance. There seems to be a good person in there and it would be sad to think you might throw yourself away. Get in touch with the hostel/social assistance/bedsit people. I hope you'll keep us posted.

    Take care and stay safe.
  11. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure how much I can add to what may have been said here before.

    Even at 40+ life doesn't necessarily have to be a "lost cause".

    Drinking excessively only masks the issues, leaving them to potentially get worse and possibly add alcohol-related issues into the mix. Not eating is likely to affect energy levels too, whether it's mental or physical. I'd consider taking responsibility for yourself and putting yourself first, making sure you have somewhere to sleep/something to eat would be a good start. Follow that up with constant talks with docs/benefits and try again, if the docs sign you to be depressed, then take that on board and apply for "income support" or "incapacity benefit", I know I was able to sign off JSA for incapacity benefit because of the docs notes.

    It might seem overwhelming, but there's no-one else who can live your life for you, and I think you may just even need something as simple as a forward thinking plan. Short-term and Long-term goals would be ideal, and hopefully you may find that the more you use this site, the more support you can get, and the more you have a place to vent as well.

    This following example, I hope is inspiring not the other way.

    (As an example, my mother between 30-40 lost both parents, (1992,1994) and my father walked out on her (1997), after that, there was moving house too (1998). Then, a few years later, she actually had a phase of losing 56lbs (4 stone/25.5kgs) in weight, through simply eating healthily and exercise (2004 I think), and has now been in one job for 12 years, and still there (2001-present). Through many scenarios she's overcome, what with a sister/son/niece being depression based too, it's helped her not sink into it, even though her doc wanted to sign her off).
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