i need help to get out of this mess i want to die so much and been making plans on how when and where.
Sorry Brownie, I meant to reply to your post last night but I fell asleep. They've just doubled my meds and I'm a bit zombie ish whilst I get used to them.
Anyhow, you need to phone your GP straight away and ask for an appointment. Tell them you need an emergency appointment. If they ask why, say you're suicidal.
If you do get in to see your GP, get some meds and also ask for a low dose of something like diazepine (can't spell that sorry) or Phenergen. They're highly unlikely to give you the diazepine but it's worth a try. Might not give you Phenergen either but again its worth a try.
Tell your doctor that you've seriously dipped and isolated yourself and as a result you missed appointments at the psych. You've now tried to get new appointments but they haven't happened and you need meds.
If you can't get in to see your GP, then you're going to have to go to A&E. Again, tell them all of the above. Don't give up until you get some help. You may have to stay there for hours but they will have to treat you eventually.
If (by some miracle) they say you should go into the psych ward for a few days, then go. You need the break. Having 4 girls can't be easy (I found 3 difficult and they were great kids)
Is there someone can help look after the girls whilst you get through this crisis?
xxxx