Thought I'd post this about myself. -I'm 14 years old, Freshman in Highschool -I have been in no serious relationship -Divorced parents, live with Mom in Colorado, Dad is in Illinois -Parents emotionally abusive -Mom denies my suicidal tendencies to my face, saying I'm using it as a way to control her -One previous suicidal attempt, May 31st 2008, told kids at school I slipped, not jumped -4 rejections -Had no best friend until the day after, Katie -Fell in love with Katie, only to be rejected -witnessed her make out with her boyfriends, had to listen to stories about her sexual experiences with strangers and one of my friends -Recent attempts to abuse marijuana, failing due to either money problems or inability to use(lighters, location, parents, etc.) -Katie has refused to talk to me for the last 2 months, because I am still suicidal. She is mad at me for it. -Once again contemplating suicide -School Counselors/Therapists are all impossibly annoying and only add to stress and problems in my life -people angry with me for using weed for comfort, saying it makes me weak -obviously, I'm not popular at school -I'm unattractive -Little to no people to turn to -The people i turn to are either unavailable, too busy for me, mad at me, or switching schools I plan on either getting a gun, jumping in front of a car, or an OD. Someone please tell me what the hell I should do. Please, any advice at all would be aprreciated.