I want to die soooo bad....
why am I such a coward
hiya coward lol right belive me, i know i dont know ya and i cant read all your old posts cuz i have to use a magnifier and well my hand shakes and trying to get the mouse level is a nightmare lol, but i promise you got a hell of a lot strength than you think, than you will ever know, just sometimes you gotta dig deep to find it, find one thing to focus on not something like proper out of reach, or to be honest not even relationships why you not feel right cuz people will kick you and take the piddle not all if you lucky lol, but yes something to focus on and i know this bit not nice but fuck them, worry about you, i know it is hard and not nice, drop the angry and the hate there the ones that will send you over the quickest, but get you no where, turn the negative into positive bit by bit, you know that dark place in your head where people send you and that, erase is, swop it with proper funny moments, songs not depressive ones, not loves ones but ones that makes you feel alive inside, funny clips of programs, films, etc takes a bit of doing, then next time they try it is not so dark, you will find when or if they do say nasty things you will just smile, fake to start with then you will feel better, it is true smiling, laughing so helpes,and yes i know it is hard to smile or laugh believe me i do know but that is how i got through things, i lost my mind completely once like proper lol, but although i do get down cuz mainly i am lonely, i walk every where just giggling my ass off to my self, then i got the voices in my head like bantering which i love so turned all that into bantering fights lol they say some well funny things to each other lol, so when it is all dark, keep focus on that one thing and really try to do it on something that no one can take from you, then when you get there, focus on something a bit further but again not to far, even when your head is crazy you do actually program it still, sometimes it just gets all fuzzy, dont worry about everything, just focus on one,,,,,