Hello, I'm here writing this because I honestly don't know where else to turn to. Ever since the age of 12 I have contemplated suicide. It's always been my escape plan and I've attempted 3 times with the most recent being 2 weeks ago. I've seen numerous therapists, taken anti-depressants, and just tried to get through this roller coaster of life on my own. The question of whether I should or shouldn't commit suicide comes up on a daily basis and it's like a quiet voice inside my head that I can't seem to silence. In my most recent attempt that voice overtook my mind and it was all I could hear. Telling me fuck the world, suicide is the best plan, you can escape the bullshit of this life and finally be free from it all. I was interfered with by my closest friend, and well I'm still here. Now I feel I've lost that level of friendship because of what happened. Just another thing on my mind. Looking back on it though, I can't figure out what it is I'm trying to run away from. I feel bad that I even contemplate suicide as there are plenty of people out there far worst off than I am, and somehow they still manage to get up each day to face their lives with the will to live on. I've always felt that God put me here as the experimental, let's see how much shit I can throw at this guy before he breaks. I'll be honest, I'm tired of trying at life, and waking up every day putting on the happy face because that's what I'm supposed to do is getting old. Anyway is there anyone out there that can relate to what I'm going thru?