I sit here, alone in my room, and I realize just how truly alone I am. I have family, my mom loves me, but they are all so distant. They do not really know me at all, and if I told them they would shun me forever, and if they DID still love me I'd be too uncomfortable to be around them. So I am alone in this pain. Something bad happened today. Anyone who has read my threads will know I was convicted of a crime I did not commit. I was set up by my ex boss and convicted on her lies. That is my number one problem right now, trying to get over the fact I'm now labeled a criminal when I did not do anything to deserve it. And not only did my record suffer, but I paid over 3,000$ in fines and restitution. Well.... Now my ex boss has decided that scratching up her cars and sending me to jail for it was not enough. Today I received the papers informing me she is now suing me for the damages. I've already paid the damages once, to the insurance company, they were the ones who paid to fix the damages. Well, now my ex boss has decided she was "so stressed and inconvenienced" by my "actions" that she seeks the 3,000$ now for herself for emotional distress. This just pisses me off so much. I have been shaking in fury for hours. How fucking DARE this bitch come after me again. I've been through hell over my wrongful conviction. Going to jail was traumatic for me, in there I had my first suicidal thoughts in years, and now thanks to this bitch I have them all of the time now. I still remember the strip search, it felt like being molested all over again like when I was 7. When I got out of jail, I was so relieved because I thought this was OVER once I got off probation, which I did in June. For the first time in two years I was free of legal worries. Now I have yet another court date looming over my head, and I can't cope anymore. This is pouring salt into wounds that had just begun to heal. What's worse, is that my lawyer says she has a case even though I have already paid this once. I have promised myself and those around me that if I lose this lawsuit I WILL kill myself. I have already paid 3,000$ for something I did not do. I had to sell my car and my 1,500$ ESP guitar to pay off this shit once. I have nothing left to take. It seems this woman is detimined to make me take my own life. Why is she after me like this? All I did was get a better job, quitting her place was nothing personal. So this could very well be the beginning of the end for me. I have always been alone and frightened of the world, now I'm absolutely terrified to go out my front door. This woman took everything from me, now she wants more. But I wish her luck getting money out of a dead man. She wants my life, she can have it! I almost hope I lose the lawsuit. Then I'll finally have the guts for sure to end this trainwreck I call a life. No more of fear, no more bitch using the courts to sabotage me. No more memories of being molested, no more memories of caring for my Grandma when I was 14. And best of fucking all, no more sitting under the tree where the one thing I ever loved is buried. No more wishing to hold her again. No more emptyness without her. Yes, death greets me very warmly right now. I honestly do feel like I'm entering the last month of my life, and it makes me sad because deep down I don't want to die.