I've recently turned to obsessing about the getting of using of drugs rather than obsession about suicide. When I'm on drugs, and/or thinking about getting more, I'm NOT thinking about suicide. All of my other addictions... girls, tv, videogames, none of these get rid of my obsession with suicide. Drugs seem to be the only thing. I had been going to Narcotics Anonymous, but their only requirement is the desire to stop using, and I guess I just don't have that desire.