Something happened today

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by souncide, Dec 19, 2012.

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  1. souncide

    souncide Well-Known Member

    Little story here.
    Today my mom woke me saying that she was going to a doctor, and needed me to take care of the house. My (step)father is out of the town until the weekend, working.
    After she left the house, I layed on the couch in pure silence, and... the first thought that came to my mind was "This would be the perfect time to kill myself".
    I didn't tried anything, because I really didn't knew any method that I could do (thanks heavens).
    The point is: I'm not depressed now. Actually, haven't been for a few days. But suicide came to my mind anyway, and if I had the means I would have done it.
    Is there any reason for this? Any explanation? I'm confused.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I have the same thoughts hun suicidal ideation is just thoughts and no you do not have to act on those thoughts I am glad you are not depressed hun
  3. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    have similar thoughts on a daily basis - just a sucky symptom of depression
  4. souncide

    souncide Well-Known Member

    Well, now I'm worried. Some years ago I was diagnosed with a tendency to depression but since then I've done little to prevent the worst.
    Did this got bigger and now I do have depression? If yes, then I'll not be able to do anything. Neither my family neither my friends would help me (one of the reasons that made me don't do anything before), instead, it would be the old conversation again, "how can you be depressed when there are people in worst situation than you?" or "you can't be depressed, you're so young, you have a whole life".
  5. VikKalmbach

    VikKalmbach Active Member

    I think that every time you start to have those thoughts you can and will defeat them. Picture somebody you really respect and admire and try to channel that energy, or push the thought out immediately with a nicer thought and act on it quickly. Just don't think about it, you have to really act on it. If you are having terrible feelings think of something that makes you feel amazing, you might have to dig because they are under painful ones, for example I love to read, this may sound crazy but if I'm having bad thoughts I'll stop everything and start driving to the book store. I'll buy myself a book and the person behind me's and I climb these thoughts like a ladder to get to the top where I regain my clarity. I want you to know I don't know who you are but love you just the same,
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