something happened

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by xXWhateverItTakesXx, May 6, 2014.

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  1. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    ugh..so something happened yesterday..and i cant talk about it and im hurt. i might be taking it the wrong way but after everything thats happened and..... i cant do this...its been on my mind all night, ive cried and anxiety kicked in..i cant cope anymore. its just over, ill wait for everyone to go to bed and use the one method that cant fail. everyone has hurt me. never ever trust a single person. i really hope these are my last few hours...its just...all over. this last thread is just getting my thoughts clear, nt to change my mind but so someone somewhere knows..and maybe people will find this and see how much i have struggled all these years.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun talk to someone ok maybe just maybe you took it wrong ok so at least be sure that what you are reacting to is true hun. If you are so low and going to harm you then reach out to crisis line ok or call the hospital and get yourself somewhere safe Do not give these people any more power ok don't do that I understand the trust thing i do but don't give them the power to hurt you again you do what it takes to keep you safe hugs
     
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I am so sorry something happened. can you please just keep posting here? I understand, from my own perspective the need to put an end to the horror of pain etc. But maybe you can stay on a one day at a time basis now. Just be here at sf and write. Be with people who you can talk to. If you cannot write it in open forum, maybe you can even in private diary area what happened yesterday to make you decide to sui tonight. I am very sorry for the pain. It must be so huge. Sending hugs
     
  4. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    thank you... i had some support in chat and ended up making a bad choice but im still here thanks to those people. I am taking it hour at a time so I don't get so overwhelmed again...:hug:
     
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    glad you are still here. :hug: :arms: Smart thatyou reached out in chat and forum
     
  6. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    I have decided I overreacted yesterday but what happened did very badly trigger me. I was genuinely suicidal last night and was very ready to go ahead, but as I said before some people here helped me so I didn't do it. Reading this now makes me feel scared and shocked at how quickly I sunk into such a dark place. Much darker then my usual days. I cope with depression daily but yesterday was the worst day I have had for a very long time and if I had faced it alone I know I would not be here right now.
     
  7. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Sounds like you have a good level of cognition when you look at it in retrospect. And that you are really taking this seriously. Are you looking for a step to take to work on things more proactivly? So this has less of a likelyhood of reoccuring? eg counseling or something?
     
  8. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    I don't know..counselling is an awakard subject as I have been very hurt and let down in the past. So I am not sure I can go through it all for the 10th time. At the moment I feel good but I know this won't last. I do keep wondering if I have bi-polar or if my depression is just really up and down this badly...I think I realised tonight that I can't afford to lose the little I have left and will fight with everything I have; even if that's against my own mind...
    i hope this feeling lasts for a while, being so down is so very draining..
     
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