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something i wanted to say out loud

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by oOoOoOoOo, Oct 31, 2010.

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  1. oOoOoOoOo

    oOoOoOoOo New Member

    Hello everybody!

    "i'm 20 years old and i never had a relationship with a girl; i'm 20 years old and i never kissed a girl; i'm 20 years old and i'm still a virgin..." - this are the thoughts that are following me for about 2 months (tho my 20th B-day was only 2 weeks ago )

    but the thought of suicide lives with me for about 2-3 years now
    why did i get this thoughts? well, may be it is planted in my DNA, but my first thought of "ending" it all came to me when in my country was a BOOM of girls age 14-15 getting pregnant and posting their photos in our social sites... if a try to recall it was something like "Holly...!!! They are doing THAT and i can't get a kiss!? What the hell...i'm such a looser..." and since that those thoughts have began getting stronger every day

    my all attempts on the love field, as far as i can remember, were and still are a total failure
    for the reasons that are not known to me, i can't even get a hug from a girl that isn't my relative

    i don't have much friends, most people i'm in contact with are just good acquaintances (and many of them are married) and you don't share such thoughts with people you just happen to know

    now i'm feeling the combination of anger, sadness, the feeling that i can't (don't know what) do anything about my situation - the combo of such feeling is much stronger in me today than it ever was before so i decided to let my thoughts out
    feel myself retarded/crippled in a way too

    that there are many people in the World whose situations are much worse than mine, so i'm not looking for sympathy or compassion

    P.S. №2
    sorry for my bad English - it's not my native language
  2. Dude111

    Dude111 Well-Known Member


    Your english is fine :)

    I dont think you shouldm worry about not getting kiss's,etc there is SO MUCH MORE in the world to be thankful for.....

    Your Mom,dad,family in general (No one cares about you as much as they do :))

    Good luck my friend!
  3. Lily

    Lily New Member

    Don't get down about being a "late starter" your not the only one out there, i was 22 before i was kissed by a significant other or hell anyone other than relatives.

    I know its lonely and downheartening to think of everyone else as being in couples especially during certain times of the year like xmas and valentines but surely its better to wait for quality than rush to the front of the line for yesterdays left overs?

    Chin up and keep smiling

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