Hello everybody!
"i'm 20 years old and i never had a relationship with a girl; i'm 20 years old and i never kissed a girl; i'm 20 years old and i'm still a virgin..." - this are the thoughts that are following me for about 2 months (tho my 20th B-day was only 2 weeks ago )
but the thought of suicide lives with me for about 2-3 years now
why did i get this thoughts? well, may be it is planted in my DNA, but my first thought of "ending" it all came to me when in my country was a BOOM of girls age 14-15 getting pregnant and posting their photos in our social sites... if a try to recall it was something like "Holly...!!! They are doing THAT and i can't get a kiss!? What the hell...i'm such a looser..." and since that those thoughts have began getting stronger every day
my all attempts on the love field, as far as i can remember, were and still are a total failure
for the reasons that are not known to me, i can't even get a hug from a girl that isn't my relative
i don't have much friends, most people i'm in contact with are just good acquaintances (and many of them are married) and you don't share such thoughts with people you just happen to know
now i'm feeling the combination of anger, sadness, the feeling that i can't (don't know what) do anything about my situation - the combo of such feeling is much stronger in me today than it ever was before so i decided to let my thoughts out
feel myself retarded/crippled in a way too
P.S.
that there are many people in the World whose situations are much worse than mine, so i'm not looking for sympathy or compassion
P.S. №2
sorry for my bad English - it's not my native language
"i'm 20 years old and i never had a relationship with a girl; i'm 20 years old and i never kissed a girl; i'm 20 years old and i'm still a virgin..." - this are the thoughts that are following me for about 2 months (tho my 20th B-day was only 2 weeks ago )
but the thought of suicide lives with me for about 2-3 years now
why did i get this thoughts? well, may be it is planted in my DNA, but my first thought of "ending" it all came to me when in my country was a BOOM of girls age 14-15 getting pregnant and posting their photos in our social sites... if a try to recall it was something like "Holly...!!! They are doing THAT and i can't get a kiss!? What the hell...i'm such a looser..." and since that those thoughts have began getting stronger every day
my all attempts on the love field, as far as i can remember, were and still are a total failure
for the reasons that are not known to me, i can't even get a hug from a girl that isn't my relative
i don't have much friends, most people i'm in contact with are just good acquaintances (and many of them are married) and you don't share such thoughts with people you just happen to know
now i'm feeling the combination of anger, sadness, the feeling that i can't (don't know what) do anything about my situation - the combo of such feeling is much stronger in me today than it ever was before so i decided to let my thoughts out
feel myself retarded/crippled in a way too
P.S.
that there are many people in the World whose situations are much worse than mine, so i'm not looking for sympathy or compassion
P.S. №2
sorry for my bad English - it's not my native language
