Something Just Snapped

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Forgotten_Man, Jun 18, 2010.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    You know it is weird I was feeling just fine up until 30 or so minutes ago. Then I just snapped and broke down... mentally. I was all set and motivated to go out for a night of Pump It Up. However Now my mind is composing suicide notes and planning to used the noose in my closet.

    Everything that I have done. My personal training feels futile. My trainer told me he completely understands where I am coming from. He says that he was once like me. He said I seem driven to change :depressed: it feels like it is all an act. Like I trip over myself when I start to get happy. It feels intentional and it depresses me that my happiness is so fragile. It makes me want to die when I feel like I am some how wrecking all the work I have done.

    Help... how can I overcome this? Do I just visualize how come that is so hard? How can I only think about dying once work is over? Where did all my motivation go?
     
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I was just signing off to go to work and say this post..gosh i am so sorry i don't have time to reply better but please know I will be on later and will give you a proper reply...you deserve it as you are so kind and giving.
    Please know you will be in my thoughts as I go about my work and that I truly care...you are truly dealing with clinical depression and need so support that I am happy to give once I am done with work but alas I am late and need to go but please accept this :arms: and know that I care about you
    love bambi
     
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    :depressed: Sorry I made you late Bambi. Please don't be too mad. Thanks for the love hun. :hug:
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Forgotten. You're dealing with depression and one can expect that relapses may occur from time to time. Sorry to hear that you had a mental breakdown. Don't give in to the urges to compose suicide notes and please don't plan on using it. You need to think back to when you were younger and remember the things that used to make you happy. Maybe some new hobbies will help? :hug:
     
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    hey FM ...you are doing well but there will be some setbacks with fighting depression.....at least you are still reaching out for help..that's a positive...
    He said I seem driven to change so is this...
    don't you dare go to the closet.....:nerves: :nono:
    did you end up going out or not???
    :hugtackles:
     
  6. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Dave_N: My heart has not been in my old hobbies that is for sure. I have taken up walking around a lot though. Thanks for the encouragement, I am feeling better, keep reading to find out why.

    @IV2010: :lol!: I am not sure what you mean with the closet phrase. No I did not go out, I went on a walk, now I am venturing to the hot tub. I feel better though. Went to Noodles and Company, had a short friendly exchange with the girl at the cashier station. She smiled at me, and giggled a little. Then when she brought me my food we shared another little smile. That made me feel a lot better. She could have just been being friendly but I feel accomplished. Now I am going to go relax... >.> have too many blisters on my feet to play Pump It Up anyway.
     
  7. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hey FM...so glad to hear your doing better! Sounds like you had a really nice exchange with that girl/woman and I know how a nice occasion like that can really lift my spirits and remind me there is good in this life.
    I am around if you need to talk and so sorry for only sending a hug on the run earlier..long day at work and was running late but did want you to know I cared...here is hoping that tomorrow is an even better day for you :arms: love Bambi
     
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    so glad you're feeling bit better....
    thanks for helping me out before....:hugtackles:
     
  9. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Bambi: It is funny, I snapped somewhere again. Became inspired, and I am going to hold onto this inspiration. :hugtackles: thanks for sending the love. I know it definitely helped. It is always nice to have an friendly exchange. Even if it was just her being good at customer service it still felt good.

    @IV2010: :hug: Thank you for helping me out.
     
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