Hi, im karl, im really new to this site. im 23 and for as long as i can remember ive always been 'different'. Through school i always fitted in, i was actually quite popular, but everyday from the age of 3 i screamed when going into school, i cried my eyes out and just didnt want to go! this has now moved onto my adult life, im 23 and so far had 37 jobs as well as being a full time student for a couple of years post 18. i just cant deal with work. This is just one of my problems, im currently seeing a specialist to see if i can get an understanding of what caused my feelings towards work etc. Because i am unable to stick out a job i am in HUGE amounts of debt, i owe a considerable amount to my parents, as well as banks and credit cards. To top things off i have a younger sister (aged 21) who is getting married this summer, has her own property and just given birth to a baby boy. So beyond seeing people i dont even know having great lives, someone even closer to me is a constant reminder my life is shit!! I have a girlfriend who i love to bits, but other than her i have absolutely no interest in anything, nothing entertains me at all!! the only hobby i have, if you can call it that, is going to the gym, and thats just mostly so i can be alone and release some anger. its like everything i do seems to go wrong, and i cant find anything that i enjoy doing. the only reason i havnt killed myself so far is because of the people around me, like my girlfriend and my family but its getting to the point where this isnt enough, i cant provide for my girlfriend or dream of having a family because i cant even stick out a job. im assuming this being a suicide forum, a lot of people have similar feelings, or a lot worse lives than what i have had, what do people do to over come these feelings? iv cleaned my bedroom today and my car, placed a lot of my possessions on gumtree so if sold can help towards the debt i owe my parents, basically im ready to go! i really cant go on with my life as it is!