I'm planning on going soon. I've lost my job. I'm losing my home soon. I've lost my musical inspiration- my only purpose. I've lost my trust in everybody; I have been betrayed. For the first time I realize how truly alone I am and always will be. I have lost everything; my love, trust, job, money, life passion - Nothing, nothing relieves this pain. I have my plan. I wrote my note. I only need to buy the supplies. Sometimes I remember joy, and I cannot believe it has been stolen from me forever... I am terrified to face the choice of unbearable suffering or death; it is my worst nightmare, it is surreal.. but I do not wake up. Then sometimes, I come to terms with reality; and amidst all my screaming, crying, violent self-destruction... a strange wave of peace rushes over me. For all must meet their end.