sometimes he gets angry

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by JustSam, Oct 6, 2008.

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  1. JustSam

    JustSam Well-Known Member

    i've only talked about this with some people in the chat before
    no one around here
    but i dont even know if this counts as abuse
    my dad's an angry person.
    he doesnt really know how to deal with kids
    see, my grandpa, his dad, died when he was four so my mom always tells me that he never had that father figure, so he never had that example
    and i suppose i can understand that
    dad sometimes has outbursts of anger. he yells, he insults... and sometimes, he hits.
    Hes thrown me down in chairs, against walls, slapped me and punched my brothers.
    Though this doesnt happen every day. Maybe once or twice a week, if its a good month maybe even every other week.
    I dont think this is abuse?
    but i have no idea.
    haha. i just sometimes have no idea how to deal with this. or if it even needs to be dealt with.
  2. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Do you think if someone much bigger and stronger than your dad started throwing him against walls etc that he'd think that was ok? Or would he think he was being violently assaulted? Just cos you're his kid doesn't give him the right to attack you and your mum shouldn't excuse his behaviour on the grounds of lack of a role model. He's a grown up and he knows right from wrong (presumably) and this is clearly wrong. Can you talk to someone in school/college etc about it cos it shouldn't be allowed to continue.
  3. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    woah woah woah! hold your horses. I am still on leave, but I am breaking that just for this post. No way can you not 'deal with this', to quote your words. This is definitely abuse. Please, if there's anyone that you can trust, then let them know. He might get even more pissed off at you later, but it does pay off in the long run. Look after yourself.

  4. Jolanta

    Jolanta Member & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Yes, absolutely this is abuse. Do you have a counselor at school? Tell him or her at your earliest opportunity. An adult is supposed to be able to control his anger. You don't deserve to be treated this way.
  5. Hey I can relate to you, you can find my MSN and AIM address on my profile.
    What your dad is doin, IS WRONG. If it leaves marks, makes you feel uncomfortable or any other negative emotions and there is no valid reason for this behaviour then it is abuse hunny. If you see me around feel free to talk to me. I won't make you get help I would just like to talk :smile: My name is Lou by the way, I am 17 and I live in UK.

    Welcome to the site.
    Keep smiling.
  6. JustSam

    JustSam Well-Known Member

    thank you guys for you support and stuff, sorry i haven't really gotten back
    but um, i really don't wanna bring this up to anyone around here
    the thought honestly frightens me
    and i know that sounds a bit dumb, but i'm the youngest in my family and i get outta this house in a couple years
    i can live through it
    is it really worth it?
  7. Jolanta

    Jolanta Member & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Sam: Honey in a couple of years you could be seriously hurt. :sad:
    We worry about you. Please find an adult you can trust. More and more are people less willing to look the other way when children are abused. You don't have to live like this.

    With love from Jolanta
  8. minion

    minion Well-Known Member

    I can’t say if what he did was right or wrong. Some parents thing that a strong hand to a child is the best way to raise them. Spanking and what not is their eyes. A slap across the face of a child mouthing of is okay. I went through the same stuff that you are going through. I just thought that was my dad’s way of showing his love to me. Now after years of being away, I see that it was wrong. It just hurts, cause the one you trusted with your life, just destroyed that trust by loosing all control of everything. Try to find someone to talk to. There are people out there who can help you. Plus there are always people here to talk to.
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