Ok so i just dunno wt to say. Sometimes i just hate this life, and feel I can't escape it. Im surrounded by people who just are so wrapped up in this shit little world they live in, and I'm expected to live in it aswell. Sometimes I look at what the future might hold and I really don't want to be there, I don't want to turn out like the people I see and I'm surrounded by, but I'm ending up in situations where I have no choice. I feel an immense pressure building inside of me, I can't release it, I have urges to put a bullet in the side of my head, it's the only thing I feel sometimes. I cut myself sometimes, only when in an extreme depression, which can be triggered by anything it seems, it's the only way I feel relief, but sometimes I need more, like I feel the need to push my fingers into the side of my skull, so much thought built up in one place. I drink and take drugs to escape the reality of life but at the end of the day they make me feel worse. I don't know what to do, I seek help from people who just don't fucking understand. I see everyone as though they are below me, like they are on a wavelength for below mine. I look at people with such hatred, and they do themselves no favours. I can't see a future for myself and I'm alone, confused and scared.