Sometimes I can't see any other way.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ed., Jan 16, 2008.

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  1. Ed.

    Ed. Well-Known Member

    Ok so i just dunno wt to say. Sometimes i just hate this life, and feel I can't escape it. Im surrounded by people who just are so wrapped up in this shit little world they live in, and I'm expected to live in it aswell. Sometimes I look at what the future might hold and I really don't want to be there, I don't want to turn out like the people I see and I'm surrounded by, but I'm ending up in situations where I have no choice. I feel an immense pressure building inside of me, I can't release it, I have urges to put a bullet in the side of my head, it's the only thing I feel sometimes. I cut myself sometimes, only when in an extreme depression, which can be triggered by anything it seems, it's the only way I feel relief, but sometimes I need more, like I feel the need to push my fingers into the side of my skull, so much thought built up in one place. I drink and take drugs to escape the reality of life but at the end of the day they make me feel worse. I don't know what to do, I seek help from people who just don't fucking understand. I see everyone as though they are below me, like they are on a wavelength for below mine. I look at people with such hatred, and they do themselves no favours. I can't see a future for myself and I'm alone, confused and scared.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 16, 2008
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Posting here can be good for releasing those feelings, pains and torments. Being able to share them with other people that understand can help ease the confusion and fear. Please keep sharing your feelings and thoughts here. Hope it helps you find some peace.
     
  3. adjuster

    adjuster Active Member

    Sometimes I wonder why I am here. Sometimes I think that I am here to suffer. Sometimes I feel like I am here to make everyone happy but for no one to make me feel the same. I do everything I can for everyone but get nothing in return. I used to cut myself when I was younger but my parents never put me in any kind of therapy. I did drugs like Acid and pot in highschool. I drank a lot in highschool and college. My temper is outragous. My moods are ultimately low and manically high.
    I am a workaholic because I feel that if I work hard enough and long enough I will become perfect at it. I have never been perfect at anything but will always try to get there as long as I am still alive. Too bad that I don't try at my marriage the same way. I feel like everyone expects the most out of me and when they give me praise they are really telling me that I can do better.
    I binge and purge, I starve myself. I have lost a lot of weight but according to the weight/height charts everywhere I am still overweight. People see me now after a year and tell me how great I look but what they are really saying is that "wow, you are still a fat cow." They are just being polite so others around them don't think that they are cruel. I have my life.
     
  4. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I can relate. I don't feel like I am one of 'them' who are these people around me? They don't understand, they all live in their own little world, then there is mine..a seperate entity. I seem to feel different to other people. I refuse to be one of them or live the way do. Just know I understand.
     
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