It would fix so many things in my life, like a fresh start. Cleans slate where I can show everyone that im not fucking useless, that im not a loser, and that while they are all sitting in a corner shitting themselves and running from the walking dead I'll be going strong. Survival is simple math, there should be no emotions involved. Like in The Walking Dead on AMC, Shane knows that, hes just a complete asshole about it. There's a difference between survival and being a sociopath, and he's leaning towards sociopathy. It would simply be a way to prove that I'm stronger mentally and psychologically than those fucks who think theyre better than me. you don't need physical strength in the apocalypse, you need to steel yourself against the horrors you will face or you will die, and it should be like that in regular life. In a way, it is, at least for people like me.