i'm usually a strong girl, but lately, i've just been depressed. i know it's normal for people to think about suicide, i've thought about it a lot for years. but lately it's been getting worse and worse. i just feel too stressed out and like there's no one left. i'm in college and the stress put on me is enormous. i have a family that i hate sometimes because of the things they do. (which is why i chose to go to college away from home) sadly. i have 2 brothers who have always ganged up on me, yeah sure it's normal right? but after years and years, it starts to really hurt. my parents expect more out of me just because im a girl. ive spent my whole life fighting them on equal rights. at one point my family always teased me about being so fat that i went anorexic. then my mom told me i was too skinny and it wasn't pretty. now im back to NORMAL weight, but everytime i visit home, my parents and brothers tell me how fat i am. i have girls who hate me for absolutely no reason and make my life hell. the only person that i can talk to and trust with anything is my boyfriend. hes the ONLY thing that makes me happy. i could sit here and write pages about why i'm in such a bad mood. it's just, i think about how im going to commit suicide, when im going to do it, what my suicide note is going to say and i always wonder who will miss me and who won't. i've thought about how and when i would commit suicide multiple times and each time it just goes further and further and i don't think that i will commit suicide tonight, but i seriously think it might happen in the near future. (a day or 2) the only thing that stops me is thinking about my boyfriend. but that won't stop me forever. i really just can't take it anymore!