I feel like I'm the only person that can tell that there's anything seriously wrong with me (well, aside from those I try really hard to share with, such as right now on this forum), and that most others are overestimating my ability to reason, or somehow determined to see the positive in everything. It's too the point where I feel like I can't even get this one friend to see that there really is a problem with me. I get so tired of trying to explain it to them somehow, and I think they must get tired of it, too. But, that's not good either, because then I just stop trying to communicate completely, and start wondering why I even bother with them on a regular basis. Then I want to shut them out. It feels like none of the people in my life are ever going to just understand that sometimes those close to you REALLY can be in sh*t. It's as though they can't imagine there's something wrong with me, because they 'like' or 'love' me and so there can't be anything wrong with those they idealize. It's compulsive optimism and positivity, to the point of shutting reality out. It makes my skin crawl sometimes. Then I really want to cut, just to reassure myself that something truly is wrong, that I'm not just some worthless drama queen making it all up.