Hi to everyone. I'm 62 years old. I'm married with a blended family of 4 children from age 38 to age 46. I don't know if anyone remembers (or if this is another place where I'm the elder) an old TV commercial from Hertz car rental where comparisons of "Hertz" and "not exactly" are made ? My problem is that I am always "not exactly". I am good enough to work and earn a middle-class (well, at least in days gone by) income, but only the kind of income that leaves people struggling, paycheck-to-paycheck, always seeming like there's never any left over, etc. My observation is that only "exactly" has a nice life. Everyone else struggles. A person has to be in the 98th percentile of abilities in order to make enough money to enjoy life. I'm so tired. The amount of effort required to participate in activities is just too much for the reward I can hope to get from them. My marriage leaves me feeling rejected and unwanted, misunderstood. My wife thinks I'm a terrible person because I'm introverted and don't want to be around people, family, etc. I prefer to remain alone, but she is the polar opposite, always wanting to "hang out" here and there, which I hate. I pray about every other night that God would do me a favor and let me never wake up again.