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sometimes the pleasure ain't worth the pain

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by TJW, Jun 29, 2014.

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  1. TJW

    TJW Member

    Hi to everyone. I'm 62 years old. I'm married with a blended family
    of 4 children from age 38 to age 46.

    I don't know if anyone remembers (or if this is another place where I'm the elder) an old TV commercial from Hertz car rental where comparisons of "Hertz" and "not exactly" are made ?

    My problem is that I am always "not exactly". I am good enough to work and earn a middle-class (well, at least in days gone by) income,
    but only the kind of income that leaves people struggling, paycheck-to-paycheck, always seeming like there's never any left over, etc.

    My observation is that only "exactly" has a nice life. Everyone else struggles. A person has to be in the 98th percentile of abilities in order to make enough money to enjoy life.

    I'm so tired. The amount of effort required to participate in activities is just too much for the reward I can hope to get from them.

    My marriage leaves me feeling rejected and unwanted, misunderstood.
    My wife thinks I'm a terrible person because I'm introverted and don't want to be around people, family, etc. I prefer to remain alone, but she is the polar opposite, always wanting to "hang out" here and there,
    which I hate.

    I pray about every other night that God would do me a favor and let me never wake up again.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Welcome from one oldie to another :)

    I don't remember the ad but that might be because it wasn't shown in the UK, but I do know what it is to live hand to mouth.
  3. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    Wow TJW, I also am 62 years old. Got laid off when I was 61. Great age to try and find a job. Never married, no kids. Yeah I found a job, a lousy one. I get by....barely. I am introverted, much more comfortable alone. But also know I need to be around others at times. We really are social animals. I am also tired. Not a tired sleep can heal. Just tired of everything life brings or does not bring. But I remain. Don't really know why. Have no expectations of things getting better.
  4. islandification

    islandification Well-Known Member

    Just hit 60 as well, and know exactly what you mean about going to sleep and no waking up. If I was going to do something in life, I guess I would have done it by now. Barely making it financially in a tedious and isolated occupation. Loneliness dominates my life, and the last ten years have been like a holocaust of friends and relatives leaving, through death or else moving away. Many people my age don't seem to do much, and with younger people I'm (usually) accepted but not really at home. With age I don't see things improving at all. Men over 65 have the highest suicide rates by a very high margin. Really it doesn't seem any worse than biding my time just to die alone in some hospital.
  5. TJW

    TJW Member

    Yep. Really seems better to me, because the general trends are downward. The future will make my employment prospects worse, not better. More people I know will die. And my estate will keep dwindling away and there will be less and less to pass on to my kids.
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