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Sometimes this is just such a pointless thing to do...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Matt93, Nov 7, 2010.

  1. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    So, I go out, feel happy really really happy. Have some good fun, then I come home. I crash, I'm miserable, my parents notice and simply don't care enough about me to do ANYTHING. I'm happy to just die, but some people won't be happy if I did. Hell some people would be fucking loving it. There'd be a fucking huge beach party if I did. But no I will not die.

    But I'm just so sick of feeling like people care, then finding out they don't. I love you, you know that, I love every single one of my friends. But I know some don't even think of me as a friend, hell some even hate me. I don't blame them, I hate myself enough. I'm starting to feel like even writing one of these is just ridiculously pointless. You're all gonna reply saying, "I'm sorry that you're feeling this way." It's all you ever do, I hate generic answers and replies. Please, if you're going to post anything at all, make sure it's worth reading.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    why do you think some of your friends hate you?
    your parents are probably totally worried about you and don't know how to help...maybe talk to them and tell them how you really feel...
    how about doing a self esteem course and/or talking to a therapist for strategies to cope with those negative thoughts?
    are you seeing a doctor?
    and I am sorry you have to feel this way but I understand about the same old advice..
    it's up to you to reach out and get help ...talking here is the first step..well done
  3. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    I do not deserve to be helped. I deserve to suffer, I deserve to be put through seemingly endless pain. I see a doctor, I do not care if I have low self esteem, I'd still be the same if I didn't. My parents know and don't care. And some of my friends hate me, because I'm smarter than them, I'm not afraid to do things they won't. I'm not afraid to things they won't though, because I have a complete disregard for my life. I wouldn't care less if I died doing something stupid. I'd greatly welcome it.
  4. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    The person who completes suicide dies once. Those left behind die a thousand deaths
  5. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    Yush, that's true. However. I was not talking about suicide, as that's intentional. What would happen to me would be accidental. I wouldn't die anyway, I'm not going to die. I'm depressed to hell yes, but I'm strong enough to know that I can do some good in this world.