Sometimes you just can't win for trying.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bluedays, Jun 23, 2009.

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  1. bluedays

    bluedays Well-Known Member

    It took me 2 days to get up the courage to call and make an appt with my GP to try to get some help... I've been afraid that she would refuse to treat me for my depression & anxiety if it was this bad, and insist I see a psych dr (which I have no money nor insurance to do).

    Finally today I felt like I had to do something as I am going out of my mind with weeks of stress and the horrible awful dread, depression, suicidal thoughts, constant agonizing chest-squeezing anxiety every second.

    After several failed attempts to make myself pick up the phone, I called to try to get in as soon as possible... and was told I am behind & it's been too long since I've been able to make a payment, so they flagged my account. Until I get caught up I can't even get in the door. With money the way it's been, who knows when that will be.

    It shouldn't be this hard and this painful just to be able to get through every day and find a way to survive the waking moments. It's just not RIGHT.
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    That is pretty fucked up. Call a suicide hotline. They can help you out probably.
  3. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Wow, thats really bad. This is why i love the NHS system in England. I can't believe they would do that to someone in need. As iloveyou said, i think calling a hotline could help, they're there to listen and help if they can, and it's free. It might help you get through for now.
  4. bluedays

    bluedays Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the replies, it helps to know I am not alone. I definitely took it pretty hard.

    I've never called a hotline before. I've emailed the Samaritans in the past but it wasn't too helpful.

    If you do call a hotline, what happens? What do they say to you?

    If you say you're suicidal to one of the hotlines, is it like when you talk with a doctor - they're obligated to report it or call 911 on you or something? I've always worried about that.

    I've always been careful what I say to my doctor because I know if I tell them I'm actively suicidal I've been told they're legally bound to call emergency services on you.
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