Sometimes I feel as if I'll never get out of this rut. I don't have any major problems; no outside cause to my depression.. It just exists. I feel lonely because I lost 2 very important people in my life, but I have others.. People who I would die for. But not people I love.. Just people I care about. I lost my ability to love. I loved someone once, and he hasn't given back my heart yet. I doubt he even knows he still has it. It's been 4 years.. But he is no longer in my life either. People tell me to spill my thoughts and feelings, but I don't know where to begin.. So I tried to begin. But I'm not sure if it flows or makes any sense. I feel hollow. Incapable of letting people in, yet needing people to fill this constant void. I try to immerse myself with achievable goals and things to do.. But what is life without the people around you? Why do anything at all if there is nobody to share the accomplishments, the failures, the pain.. I don't know what I'm looking for, if anything, by posting this.. But I thought id try and reach out to someone that would listen. Even if it's only for a brief few minutes.. And even though I do not know the point of still being alive, I seem to find myself still being alive, so I figure I'm alive for something..