I hate myself.and i can honestly say there has never been a point in my life where i was ok with the way my life was going, i feel really close to to ending this bullshit life but attempts arent always final and i dont want to take the chance of failing and ending up in a mental ward, i have not one person to turn to,no friends and my family hates me,truthfully they really do. im stuck and i have no fuckin' idea what to do. beside the obvious counceling which im waiting to start. i am constantly ridiculed and i dont know how to stand up for myself, i dont know how to make friends ecspecially when i fear social situations and i really want a friend. is there anybody reading this currently living a similiar life as i do?