Song for you guys

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DrivEthermissIon, Oct 31, 2009.

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  1. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member Forrest gump theme

    You know, it's a lot of things guys, you really need to look at my after effects thread. My whole life has been pitch black from the day I came out blue from the womb, even my ancestry was fubar, with my genetics and everything. I never had a chance. And I've been trained and disciplined to fail in everything I've done for the past 9 years, I never had a choice.

    If you want to know how I'm feeling, listen to that song from 2:15 to 6:30
  2. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    My Dad's there and I hope he doesn't see or hear my tears.

    You know what Sean said he said he was grateful he didn't have a life as black as mine, this is coming from a real broken man (him) and his broken life, so it MEANS SOMETHING. I think I'll leave it there guys.
  3. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    I think most of us use our past as an excuse for why we are suicidal and why we act as do, and I think it's a shame. I don't know what your life has been like, but I know that 1) your hard past is over now and 2) you're exaggerating heavily when you say your whole life has been pain and you never had a chance etc. Don't reply with how bad it's been, It won't change my opinion. Nobody has a 100% horrible life, and the ones that say they do are drama queens. I can look back on my past and mostly remember pain and hardship, because those are the memories that stick with me. I'm not saying your life and past doesn't mean anything, just that it does no good to wallow in your own bad memories. I ruined the best relationship I have ever had by doing that, and It pisses me off that I was so foolish and childish.

    Now I'm trying to forget my past and look to the present and the future, because thats all that matters. The past is like a dead body, I can either acknowledge its passing and bury it, or I can leave it to rot and stink up the joint, because I don't want to let go. It's a bad analogy I know, but I'm sticking to it. You won't lose who you are by letting go of the past, you'll only make yourself stronger. Crying over spilt milk will get you nowhere.

    I apologize if I sounded too harsh in my post, it's the way I see it. I hope you feel better.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 31, 2009
  4. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Got to disagree with you Tobes. For many people, there is no future until the past has been sorted properly, laid to rest. Doesn’t matter how fast or how far you run away from it, it’s always there, and turning your back on it - ok that can work, for a while - but one day when you’re not looking bang, there it is in front of you again, smacking you right in the face.

    There are people who have had a horrific past, so bad that there’s not a hell of a lot of them in the present that isn’t made up of their past experiences. While your intention is good and your advice is sound for a lot of people, it’s also likely to upset a few people too.

    Just wondered if you’d read any other of Chrissy’s posts?
  5. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    I probably have but don't remember them, my memory is a bit sketchy. I know that it's impossible to instantly stop thinking about the past and change all of a sudden, but with time you can learn to live more in the present. Even if you have had a horrible life, it's never too late to turn it around and make something of yourself, but it only comes after the day when you decide not to let the past affect you negatively anymore, or get you down.

    It's not my intention to upset people, just to try and speak the truth as I see it and try to help people out of their problems. I said to bury your past, not run away from it. It doesn't mean that you can't remember your past, it just means closure. And yes, there can be a lot of issues that need to be addressed, which are probably whats affecting you, but you can still say to yourself "I won't let this get me down' and keep moving forward. I'll say it again, there's no use crying over spilt milk, and this is what chris seems to be doing. He isn't dealing with his problems, just wallowing in them. I've done that, and it only made me feel worse.

    If I'm wrong in any way, then I apologize, but I know that what I say is true, and may be hard, but it is still doable.
  6. OceanBlue2

    OceanBlue2 Member

    I can't offer anything more to say than that this song is beautiful, and if it's any comfort, I feel so many of those feelings you do.
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