song lyrics im working on

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by taylor623, Mar 14, 2010.

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  1. taylor623

    taylor623 Member

    If your the habit of wasting time
    then walk with me a while
    through the ghosts on the street
    all of those you'll never meet
    if you can gather the nerve
    to break ancient barriers of reserve
    take advantage of mad existence
    sing your hesitations

    a tempest in the north came down
    in the absence of your thoughts
    a storm fired up with talk and hope
    and for those you stayed around

    you beacon shall shine
    that that gives its ghostly flame
    brighter as everyday goes by
    brighter as everyday goes by

    thats as much ive written so far
    still need another 1 or 2 verses
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 14, 2010
  2. Mat Voleido

    Mat Voleido Well-Known Member

    Seems like the grammar is off in some places - I'm not sure if it's intentional or not.

    But so far, so good. I look forward to reading the finished peice :D
  3. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    I've noticed the grammar too.

    I liked the first verse, a good start. I can't wait to see it finished.
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