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Soo tired

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Vanquished

Well-Known Member
#1
I keep waking up depressed. Sometimes it improves a little throughout the day, but not enough to be good with.

I think, at least in part, part of it has to do with my health. I have so many things going on that there’s no way to address it all with drs. It’s literally that vast, so I only tend to address the critical or the most painful things. There’s still even plenty of that. So much so that on occasion I’m screwing something up regarding appts or testing. It’s both exhausting and discouraging.

I’ve been in physical therapy for a couple months. They’re working on my elbow on one arm, and my wrist and hand on the other. I just got out of a cast for the wrist a few weeks ago. I tore a tendon and some cartilage, and still have no idea how. There’s a strong chance I have a connective tissue disorder, and when I tried to see a geneticist about it they said their earliest availability would be ‘23 or possibly ‘24. This is in part because I’m not one of the lucky ones who have their family history. I have other tears in my body which is why I sought to figure it out, but I’m just not that special.

Now I’m dealing with heart issues - again. I have severe heart disease. I’ve got a mechanical valve, and my aorta is dissected. Then, for the last few months I’ve been trying to figure out what has made my pulse go so low (44), but I still don’t know. Then last week when I was at the cardiologist for my annual check up we discovered that now my blood pressure is too low (90/50). This has never happened before, so it’s definitely not the norm for me. My INR (tells how the blood is caugulating) is now only a little high. Normally they adjust my dose, and tell me to check it in a week. This time my cardiologist wants me to check it again tomorrow (just checked it yesterday). I don’t normally find being a little bit off a big deal, and normally it’s not. But their wanting me to check it in two days has me kind of weirded out. That’s not like them, either.

I’m doing what I can to take care of myself including losing weight (lowest I’ve been in 20yrs atm), and I’m down to 2-3 cigs a day.

I’m just exhausted that it’s always something. I can’t even list everything here simply cuz it’s too much, but I’ve recently come to the conclusion that drs are anything but helpful. They obviously can’t (and in some cases won’t) help.

I’m totally exhausted!
 

MisterBGone

SF Supporter
#2
Well, just keep doing the best you can @betteroffunknown ! It sure sounds to me like you're doing a wonderful job, and putting your best foot forward. I know what it's like to get, or become exhausted from a litany of medical appointments... but I haven't really the medical expertise to be commenting, unfortuanately on any of your issues. There are others here who may be able to help. I don't know, you've got to trust the doctors, and try not to out-think them (sometimes). But it does complicate things, when you're seeing a wide variety of specialists, all in different departments, and they don't have any real communication necessarily with one another (beyond reading your files). And so what you really need, is someone overseeing everything, or a team of doctors all taking a look at everything at once, in order to try and make sure nothing is being missed, and that things are being done, "correctly!" (for want of a better..;))
 

Vanquished

Well-Known Member
#3
I feel like I’m going thru a season similar to what I went thru ten years ago. I began having concerning symptoms that no one could figure out. For 2.5yrs I kept going to Drs and emergency rooms. I even had one dr who thought it was all in my head simply cuz he couldn’t figure it out. (He was a cocky shit who thought his shit didn’t stink.) Then two months after being insulted a Dr at an ER just happened (it was a fluke) to stumble upon the issue that turned out to be causing the symptoms I was having. That’s when the bad valve was discovered. I say it was a fluke cuz apparently it had been bad for 38+yrs before it was discovered. I did notice the effects of it growing up. I just had no idea it was my heart.

I feel like the never ending pursuit is happening again. I’ve been dealing with skeletal issues for just over 3yrs, and I’m no closer to figuring out what’s behind all this than I was 3yrs ago. I feel like the quality of care is less now due to the focus being so much on Covid. I know that very little of these issues has to do with age. Even drs have been baffled, so I still don’t even have a vague idea of what’s behind it all.

I simply don’t have the strength or endurance to keep on keeping on.
 

Vanquished

Well-Known Member
#5
Sorry that you've been so sick for so long. I hope something ca help.

Do you want suggestions about what to do?

Hugs
You’re always welcome to offer ideas, @may71

My latest personal effort has consisted of losing weight to take pressure off the joints, and it should help to some degree. I’m also taking glucosamine and turmeric (for inflammation).

I do have a yoga set up. Just don’t have enough room in my place to actually do it.
 
#6
I do have a yoga set up. Just don’t have enough room in my place to actually do it.
I think there's some yoga-in-a-chair practices, or other yoga practices that would work well in confined spaces.
I’ve been dealing with skeletal issues for just over 3yrs, and I’m no closer to figuring out what’s behind all this than I was 3yrs ago.
An acupuncturist/Chinese herbalist may be able to give you a diagnosis from the TCM perspective and hopefully offer some helpful treatment. I can say more about this if you are interested.
My latest personal effort has consisted of losing weight to take pressure off the joints, and it should help to some degree
Do you think there could be a relationship between your diet and the loss of blood pressure?
I keep waking up depressed
There's a meditation practice where you try to focus on feelings of warmth and peace, prior to your mind thinking about anything.

I tried doing this a few times, but it seemed like there were no feelings of warmth and peace to be had.

I was successful in starting the meditation before I started thinking, but only one time. It worked pretty well.

The idea is that if you can do that, you can later try to recall the same feelings throughout the day.
 
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