Soon i can breathe my final release

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rookie, Oct 26, 2013.

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  1. Rookie

    Rookie Active Member

    For the past two years, every single moment of every single day has been monopolised by this one thought... This one idealisation... That it would be so much easier if i were dead... No pain left, no sadness, no disappointment... So it is with a sad soul and heavy heart that i have settled on these, my three releases from this cruel twisted pool of swirling blackness that drag me deeper into it's depressing abyss...<mod edit methods> waiting for my first and final perfect moment... An untainted moment of beauty to end it all, building up to a massive crescendo leaving behind the silence and peace of my death... To all those who have offered me counsel and guidance, thank you and im sorry i have failed
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 27, 2013
  2. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    I understand that you think this is the only way out. And yes--at a certain stage in one's life this may seem a solution.
    But you are still very young ( in another post you tell us your age ,which is 21 ) ,and lots--lots of developments can and will take place in your live.
    It is a fact that nothing is static and yes--things can also get worse, I give you that.
    I made indeed the experience when you think that nothing could get worse it always can.
    So no rosy painting here from me.
    But I also made the experience that unexpected reprivals and improvements can happen,they are not always foreseeable though.
    But they happen.
    You should not rob yourself--at your age--of such chances for the better.
    And whatever or whoever caused your situation : don't let it/them have the upper hand,the last say.
     
  3. Rookie

    Rookie Active Member

    It isnt a matter of letting anyone win, or a cry for help really... I dont know, it seems like my life thus far has been for the benefit of others... The only people who get anything out of my life are the people around me... the only light visible is a light i emit but cannot percieve... but now i feel it is time i take a choice for myself, and the only thing i know i have wanted for some time now is to die... on my terms... i dont want to grow old and become frail and senile to the point im barely aware of who i am... i dont want to start a family, in my experience, family works in principle, but when you add in human emotions into the mix, like anger and jealousy, then family seems like a failed institution. ''Nothing you do will matter. But it is very important that you do it anyway''... Why? There isnt any point to anything... We are all just a series of chemical reactions, changing, reacting... decaying to the point biological disintegrity that people call death by natural causes... But why must i have a family a die when im old? why not die now when im in no physical pain, and thus wouldn't have to endure any more pain? occams razor would say that i should choose death over an expected further 61 years of emotional and physical pain... Logic has been my underpinning characteristic, and i cannot see the logic in continuing
     
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