I'm certain it's because of all that I have to face tomorrow. I will go there me but come back being the thoughts and urges and methods and plans. I'm slipping fast and hard. The need to isolate is so bad. So I'm throwing out the help me line right now. I know where I'm heading and this will be about the only time you'll see it. Soon all the thoughts and urges will take over. And I wont hear anything but them. I'm sorry, I've tried so hard but it has been absolutely for nothing. And I know you have all already tried. Please forgive me for asking again. I dont know what else to do while I still have the sense enough to try and hold on.