I want to be dead soon. Like in the next couple of hours. I want someone to stop me, but no one will because no one knows how bad I feel. I am sad about dying, i thought i would feel relief, but i just feel sad and disappointed that it has to end this way, that nothing worked, that I am murdering myself. I hope my friends and family find my last two years of posts here, maybe then it will make more sense to them, despite the pain I cause. I wish I could tell someone what I am about to do, but I dont know who to tell or who would even care. So I am turning to you all, hoping that maybe there is some help out there...somewhere.