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  1. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I want to be dead soon. Like in the next couple of hours. I want someone to stop me, but no one will because no one knows how bad I feel. I am sad about dying, i thought i would feel relief, but i just feel sad and disappointed that it has to end this way, that nothing worked, that I am murdering myself. I hope my friends and family find my last two years of posts here, maybe then it will make more sense to them, despite the pain I cause. I wish I could tell someone what I am about to do, but I dont know who to tell or who would even care. So I am turning to you all, hoping that maybe there is some help out there...somewhere.
  2. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    I'm not feeling too great myself right now, so don't think there's anything positive I can say to help you, just maybe that you're not alone in how you feel, and that I wish too there was someone who could say the magic words, something, that would make some sense. :hug:
  3. HiddenTears

    HiddenTears Well-Known Member

    I know how much you are hurting. Believe me I am right there with you. But stop and think about your friends and family. You are in a better position than many people with these thoughts (me included). You HAVE friends and family! I don't know what happened to make you feel this way, so why not tell us and maybe we can talk you through it. Start by telling us. I know someone here can give you some encouraging advice and I will try my best too. Just remember you HAVE friends and family, you said it yourself. And if it helps I can be your friend too. Just talk to us.
  4. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    At this moment you are seeking to escape the feelings you have that have become excruciating to you. The other way to escape those feelings are to tell them to someone. Get them outside of you.

    Even though we want our family to know, the problem is they are not trained professionals and then we think they reject us when it in fact they are not rejecting us.

    I understand because I've walked this same path. Call crisis now. :hug:
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    sorry your feeling so lonely so much pain but please if you can't stay strong for you stay strong for your family. I know you are kind and caring and would not want to cause anyone the pain you have so stay safe for your family. You can call the hospital the crisis line Good Samaritans call someone to talk to them and tell them your not feeling well. Call a teacher a councillor a priest minister anyone and just stay strong because the pain will leave soon. Can you promise you will call someone for the family please stay safe.
  6. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    there is no one to call, no one cares, and no one knows the depths of this, and I am not able to tell them, that's why i want to just get this over with now.
  7. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    im so sorry to hear that...I feel your pain...its make me can tell your close family...start with the most coset person on them...mabe just tell that you feel bad at first...not feeling well...Im always feel sick symptomes for example(not that you are...its only example) then tell this person that you feel most close to "I need to talk to you in privet and tell them what happend...tell them step by step if you are scared to tell them or dont know how you tell...anyway,its just suggestion...its one way to tell can find other ways and chose the best to tell...
  8. I need help

    I need help Well-Known Member

    Maybe if you dont feel like telling them EVERYTHING- you dont have to..just tell them enought so they really know you're suffering!... so they'll be with you...and try their best to make you feel better..tell them you need some "special attention" to get through some hard times...I'm sure they'll be there for you!
    Hope you feel better!!
  9. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    i am just too scared to tell anyone, the fear is tremendous, more than my fear about dying, i feel so ashamed of myself. and at the same time, I need someone to help me NOW. its really really bad right now, i cant stand how much it hurts, i feel like i am going crazy adn i just want ti to stop.
  10. I need help

    I need help Well-Known Member

    why dont you just ask a close friend or family memeber to just be with you ...say you feel alone and depressed and you want some companionship....try as hard as you can to open up to them..but even if you just tell them you feel depressed and they hug you and show you they care -it can help....even if just a know someone's be comforted...
    I know when i feel depressed I don't really wanna share it with my familly...and even when I tell my friends stuff..I don't like to tell them EVERYTHING... cause I feel they won't understand...("they arent depressed why should they get me?! "- they dont have to understand..just be there!!) but just knowing they know I suffer,and want to spend time with me to make me feel better- HELPS!... try to do that!

    PLUS-WE CARE! can tell us what's going on with you...!
    feel free to pm me if you want!
  11. HiddenTears

    HiddenTears Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel. I often feel embarassed by it too. But you really need to let it out. Talk to the person you trust the most, and you don't have to tell them everything right away. Just tell them enough to let them know you are in trouble.
  12. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    i am afraid if i tell the person i do trust, he will just send me to the hospital, and i will be more alone and sad there
  13. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    I care. I'm always here for you. just PM me if you would like.
  14. HiddenTears

    HiddenTears Well-Known Member

    Start by saying how alone you feel, don't go directly into the "I'm suicidal" speech. Ease into it. Feel them out, and if they are not the right person to talk to then you won't be embarrassed that you said anything that could damage your relationship. If they are your friend then they will help you. And if you find out that it is safe to tell them everything, then later you will feel better that you got it off your chest. You might feel bad at first, but two people knowing how you feel is better than just one, and that's what you need to tell yourself. No matter how bad the situation is it is always best to talk to someone about it.
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