Well im new here and feel kinda weird about posting but i feel like i should talk to someone about this. For about the last year and a half ive been considering suicide I just feel so isolated from everyone ive been dealing with depression issues since my early teens they were really rough emotionally (20 now). the suicidal thoughts have always been there in passing but it wasnt untill about a year ago i fell pretty hard for a co worker of mine and she lead me on and jerked me around and I havent been the same since and its slowly getting worse there have been moments lately were i've started but have been able to stop myself. It gets really bad at night when i'm just laying there alone thinking. I just seem unable to meet a girl and form a relationship. I'ts not like im bad looking or anything I'ts just that im inexperienced. I used to have a friend i could talk to but she got fed up with me and stopped talking to me which hurt alot..... and now i have no one . I don't understand why i feel this way I try and stop and think rationally about it but i cant come up with a reason. Sigh i can't even accuratley explain it and it frustrates me. It's just taking everything i have to keep going.... I have the means literally on the rack next to my bed to make it quick... Sigh I dunno what to do I can't afford to get help or else i would. I'm also scared that my parents would find out were close but this isn't something i can talk to them about.