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Sorry everyone

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ShalenaM, Aug 27, 2007.

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  1. ShalenaM

    ShalenaM Well-Known Member

    Sorry everyone for my stupidity and for lashing out at people and acting immature...

    I hope you all have nice lives..

    Its true, I"m a hypocrite and a lier and a deciever..and I do believe in God, but that doesn't stop me from what I"m gonna do..:sad:

    (or maybe I know there is a God, but I don't believe in him..)

    But anyways, I"m sorry for everyone I sent harsh messages to and everything..(though I still believe I will go to hell if I commit suicide..) I feel like there is nothing left for me to do..

    I guess I'll go to hell then..

    I'm going to hell anyways because I'm bisexual! And I can't help it..So I might as well die..I've lived with my grandparents and my real parents and can't seem to find peace anywhere I live..So maybe I won't live at all..

    I said I wouldn't post that I will commit suicide on here..but I LIED!

    I am a lier and I"m sorry! I thought I wouldn't post it..but, I changed my mind..

    Again, I"m really sorry for acting like an idiot and pissing people offf!

    (Sorry to the moderators expecially!) :smile:

    Anyways, tonight is the night..seriously..I'm gonna attempt to do this again like I did a couple of days ago..this time, I"m going to take more of "them"

    A lot more..and I'm gonna make sure that I D.I.E...I deserve it anyways!

    Sorry everyone, truly sorry..I'm sorry, sorry soryy sorry...

    I'm not commiting suicide becaus of anything I've done to you guys, I'm having a really rough rought ime, and there is NO way out..alll the other black kids at my school hate me because I don't talk like the average "black" girl should, and they are IGNORANT and MEAN and they tell me I"m not really black ..So I don't fit in anywhere..I'd rather die than to go back to that dumb ignorant school again!

    I was brought up and taught to hate white people..but I"m starting to like the white race better than the BLACK! :mad:

    I'm not racist against my own race, they are just ignorant! Now I can see why some white people are racist..black people make themselves look intimidating..plus, we got black and black hate..the darker girls can't accept me for being lighter than them..!! :sad:

    I hate my life..Why God why?? Why won't you do something abou tthis!!!!!



    Bye everyone, sorry for that outburst..but I needed to vent..

    (Maybe this should be in the let it out forum..I don't know..):blink:

    But, sorry if it was meant to, and I love you all and I"m sorry for the rude remarks, for real! It will never happen again..

    P.S>- I love you whitedove, if you get this..! Remeber me as your friend!
  2. Shalena, I hope you will be okay. I've read alot of your posts, and I can only wonder about what has gone on in your life, in terms of the people around you and how they have treated you. I sense that you are angry, and that perhaps you are trying to cling onto what you have been taught by "Christians", in the extreme sense (that God is strict and punishing, unforgiving of suicide, etc), in order to convince yourself not to kill yourself. Otherwise, you might not have much in your life to keep you from suicide, or the pain of what you do have, is causing you to want to die. Without fearing hell, it makes it more likely that you will actually attempt suicide. However, you do not have to fear God. Instead, look for support from people on SF. Hopefully, they will be able to help keep you alive. I have been alive for over a year since I joined SF, and even though I'm probably within hours of trying again, it isn't the fault of SF. It really is a good site here. Take care, Shalena.
  3. hwynym

    hwynym Guest

    I'm going to hell anyways because I'm bisexual!

    Boy, I hope you don't beleive that.

    If there are idiots telling you stuff like that, then just don't listen to them...because they're idiots!

    I'm also bi. You don't say how old you are, but from the fact that you post that you're still in school, I imagine you're as old as my daughter.

    That's right - *I* didn't figure it out until I was almost 40, and it cost me a marriage and some rough times wondering how I could be *this* when I had a wife and three kids. I seriously thought that everyone would be better off with me dead and nobody ever knowing what I had figured out.

    But even though there were rough times and even though I knew there would be a cost, I came out to my wife and kids. Well, she's not my wife anymore - but you know what? We still get along well. The kids don't care - they just know that I'm still "Dad". My oldest is about to start college and he has bi friends, although he's straight.

    There are bi resources online, if not immediately near you. Please check them out and see if there's someone you can reach out to and get a sense of belonging.
  4. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    Yes, I was thinking something like that. Don't listen to what you might have been told about homosexuality. There's nothing wrong with it.

    Nothing much to add except what the previous respondents have already said, please stay safe x
  5. Nessarose

    Nessarose Well-Known Member

    I believe someone can be saved and bisexual/homosexual. Truth be told, it is something I struggle with, and while I believe it's a sin, God has helped me through so much and answered so many of my prayers that I don't see how I can't be saved. I still doubt my salvation sometimes, especially when I'm struggling with sin, but I believe no sin is greater than any other. It sounds like you have a Christian background. If that is the case, be comforted that theologians agree that the only unforgivable sin is permanently rejecting Christ and/ or the Pharisees' accusing Christ of being possessed.

    I also believe that people do not choose to be gay or bi. I honestly can't say why some people are and some people aren't, but I believe that God loves you infinitely regardless. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I have spoken with several pastors about my own issues, and they all assured me that I am not going to hell. I'm sorry if some extremists have caused you to believe otherwise regarding yourself.

    I'm sorry you have so much pain in your life. I can't understand why skin color matters to some people. Maybe they are insecure themselves. They certainly have no valid reason to dislike you.

    Please continue to stay strong, and be safe. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. If you aren't Christian, sorry to bog you down with all my theological beliefs; I am only looking to offer comfort that I believe comes from God.
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