sorry I keep bothering people

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Wastingecho, Nov 17, 2014.

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  1. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    Been losing bits and pieces of what's left of me - people are looking at me like I'm already dead

    Walking to the station to go home and saw a couple hugging - not a "hey, good to see you" hug - this was two people who craved the closeness of each other - an "i'll stay with you as long as you'll let me" hug

    It fucking broke my heart because I know i'll never have that again - not sure i've ever had that at all

    Hardest part is knowing i've put myself here - shutting down - can't figure out how to stop it

    So hard saying anything now - even posting - if I don't think about it doesn't hurt as much - writing this much is breaking me - only able to because i'm tucked in a corner of the train by myself and no one can see me

    This is the only place I can be me without being seen

    Already invisible - really want to disappear completely
  2. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Wastingecho, I "Know" that you are not bothering anyone here, I believe that any one in here only feels the Hurt that you are expressing. I know this because it IS tangible to me. In part you are right, but, not for the reasons that you state, you are Invisible, only because you are hiding away. I too have that problem, Posting & writing out what and how I Feel, I don't really want to talk about it, I also agree that this place, at least for me, is where I can be me and Not be Seen. I don't have to see my friends or relatives shaking their heads, crying or comforting each other. You can share all that you feel good or bad here, No One Will judge you. You are safe and you can feel comfortable here, You can be visible and not have to be tucked in the corner. Please don't disappear, You are Important here and I think You know that.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Could not have said it better than that You are care for here no one judges you here ok hugs
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    You aren't bothering anyone here. Just want you to know I care and always will. :hug:
  5. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    Just want to stop feeling - want to be numb

    Everything is so damned intense
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    You are not bothering anyone here, I will admit when I see couples like that I do feel envious too but at the same time I hope that one day that will be me :(
  7. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are important like the rest. Please keep using this site as you deserve to.
  8. fosty

    fosty Well-Known Member

    You don't bother me. This stuff is what this site is here for :)
  9. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    I am like you, only, I do feel Numb. and Yes everything is Intense, I have to say that Picture says a lot, to me it does anyways.

    I felt what you did when you saw those two people hugging in the station. WOW does it hurt. Yeah, I am numb but the feelings in me go deep. I don't feel anger anymore, I feel empty, hollow.
    I have few wants, desire nothing. The World goes on, yet here I sit. I no longer have dreams, only nightmares. I too am Invisible for most of the world. In here I do make a few appearances, Um? please don't applaud. I only do it so I can maintain some contact with humanity. I hope you will keep doing the same, I would miss you.
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