Sorry if I make anyone paranoid

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by DrivEthermissIon, Nov 4, 2009.

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  1. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    I had a minor disagreement just then, it was over something really silly, that person said they were a bit paranoid.

    My real name is Chris. The reason why I came here is because I was banned from a business community I loved and needed for my future and a 12 step program for bizarre behaviour and it completely wrecked me, think about how you would feel! I was diagnosed with mild psychosis mixed with depression, which I would have cured except I also came out of the womb blue (obstetric hypoxia) so I got Multiple Chemical Sensitivity which turned progressive in my 20's. I tried to cure it as well but unfortunately it's progressive and the meds and herbs and vits are becoming useless as time passes.

    I'm slowly losing my mind because of this, plus there's physical effects like constant exhaustion, I also have severe anxiety sometimes and severe dizziness sometimes and food and drink sensitivities. I also am learning disabled even though I don't show it, but I got in the top 5% for my TEE (I'll never forget my Mum's smile ;__; ) and I had to drop out of University coz MCS damaged my brain in the holidays when I smoked tobacco fr 6 weeks in my room, it may not make sense but I went from a near photographic memory to not being able to study.

    I live in Perth, Australia. I have no real life friends and I'm too exhausted all the time to socialise. It's hard to wear clothes and clean them, it's hard to shave and clean myself, I dry shave with a bic shaving blade and I use baby shampoo and really gentle soap. I can't eat most foods or drink any alcohol, I also get irritable, I can't even have generic meds. I can't travel in a lot of cars due to the fabrics, I can't fly overseas, I can't have Hungry Jacks/Burger King, I tend to avoid fresh fruit and vegetables.

    My morality? I don't keep porn, I'm a virgin who's never touched a girl, I sponsor a child from overseas through World Vision and I sincerely believe in compassion. I also have helped a lot of people online.

    I am sorry I'm so strange, something happened to me on my 21st birthday, it didn't happen to anyone else and it's not my fault. MCS and that guidance wrecked my life. That guidance led the disease to become progressive.

    *cries* I'm sorry I'm such a freak. I've ruined my life. Don't ruin yours. I'm not out to get anyone, I'm sensitised to pain and shock due to the horror I've suffered over the past 9 years and I'm SO scared of people, their reactions, their words, their behaviour, it's so scary sometimes, so scary. If you touch me I'll shatter. I mean no harm.
     
  2. Piffle

    Piffle Member

    Hi, Chris. I know we don't know each other (I joined ages ago but only just visited again today), but the way you described your fear of people really struck a chord with me. So ... I just wanted to say Hi, and that from the few posts of yours I've read so far, you seem like a really lovely person.

    Sam. x
     
  3. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Hey Chris ive read a few of ya posts and responses and ya seem a decent person.This is a good site to come too as i keep getting advised as nobody here is judgemental and we all have some probs.I also in W.A about 4hrs from Perth idown in Albany.I dont really know what ta say to ya at moment as im not tht good at advice.All i can say tht ive seen ya good person.
     
  4. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    Thanks so much guys ^__^ . Don't worry, I'm like that too, I find it hard to give advice sometimes. I'm glad I'm not alone ^__^. Don't worry I have my blessings.

    I'm just waiting on someone to reply. If they do, and don't bite, I will feel wonderful.

    My msn is drivethermission@hotmail.com

    My yahoo is Whitewatercurrent4eva
     
  5. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    hi
    how are you today
    im sorry to hear that...but you are seem nice person & u can pm me any time
    take care
     
  6. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    hi
    I read this fourm again...carfully this time...
    1st I alos never have gf/bf and never get friends..
    im so sorry about your medical condtion...its so bad...im sorry..I just tears when i read your thread...im not helping lol..

    there is alot of people that it worse like ex: diabetes and insulin neddls & also they are have fobia of needles...I have many med condtion..my shower/bath take 2 and hafe to 3 hours and affect other thing also new have obbsession of wash my hand & my clothes that both take me one hour in the morning and one to one and half hour in the night and I cant study even when im sober lol...so noproblem...but anyway....im nothing comparing to u...

    I donno what happend in your 21 B-day...but like u said...its not your fault.

    and u r not freak...u r prave & all people ruins thier life in aways or another...sp. who have bad childhood...its normal...maybe u get bad luck and your body sensitive that u got those things...but nothing is your fault...what happend in your child not your fault...and what happend to your body not your fault cos many drink & get high alllllll the time & both togather ...not getting like that...

    but look the other side...where the got in the top 5% for my TEE....when u have the sweeties heart ever....when you are so helpful here...I realy never met somebody like u...maybe u got all that...to be here and help in this fourm...to save lifes...thats the best gift ever somebody can have...

    by the way...im also shatter and sooooooooooooo sensitive person....im so scared too...u r not alone...its normal...and I met many people like that....no worries....

    I just want u to let u know that its not ur fault...nothing ur fault...also u r not alone...everybody here love ya & suport u....& I feel your pain sweety

    PS: Im so sorry...I probably make u sad & get u pain...I just remind u of bad things...and I didnt help u...please forgive me :'(
     
  7. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    People's tears heal me *hug*

    You never make me feel bad, you're the one person here who doesn't.

    im nothing comparing to u...
    in this life - you are the hero, your heart is golden and true.

    I realy never met somebody like u
    - I feel the same way

    but look the other side...where the got in the top 5% for my TEE....when u have the sweeties heart ever....when you are so helpful here...I realy never met somebody like u...maybe u got all that...to be here and help in this fourm...to save lifes...thats the best gift ever somebody can have...


    *smiles at you*

    I saw a person in need, with a golden heart, who took a step towards me, and kept doing so, so I cared for you like a little duckling, and I always will.

    Thank-you so much hun.

    *tickles the duckling!* :smile: :rooster:
     
  8. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    I dont have the words to say how much of a good person you are. Just care for yourself like everyone else here cares for you.

    **HUGS**
     
  9. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    I dont have the words to say how much of a good person you are.

    That's one of the best sentences I've ever heard. You're one of my fav gals!
    Thank-you so much Small-Kate.You've helped me up time and time again, from some of my darkest tears and sorrows and depths.

    :brett: Hop on
     
  10. happyville

    happyville Well-Known Member

    I don't keep porn, I'm a virgin who's never touched a guy and won't until I'm married, and I donate to the Humane Society once a month, every month, and I'm huge on compassion and helping people online. Woo, stuff in common!

    I don't think you're a freak, Chris. I also think your name is lovely.
     
  11. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    Thank-you Kimberly, sorry I haven't replied, a lot on my plate.

    I love your name also (if we are talking about first names), it was the name of a girl I swapped poetry with at a learning facility called TAFE. She was the most beautiful girl I've seen in my life, and she liked me. I'll put some more poetry up soon hopefully.

    Thanks for everything happyville. *hug* I love the stuff you put on my profile. Keep it up ;)
     
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