Sorry i'm a hypocrite

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Why Am I Here, Aug 9, 2011.

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  1. Why Am I Here

    Why Am I Here Well-Known Member

    My mind is fucking everywhere. Set suicide date: 8/12/2011 (3 days away)


    I just got back from vacation, and another forum member called the state police on me because I told her I was done talking to her seeing as I am going to kill myself on the 12th and I don't want her around getting in trouble. I love her to death, she's great. I just don't want her getting in any trouble. Any who, all the police knew was my name was Jon and my cell phone number. They left a voice mail informing me to return the call but I never did. hehehe.

    I've had second thoughts about kill myself and I'm shoving that shit outta my head immediately. I've come to far drop this now. I don't know what's real life anymore. I'm beginning to think everything is a dream. If it isn't, then it's fucking life and it's pointless.

    I hate people but I know if I didn't kill myself I could be a terrific comedian or philosopher even though that will get you nowhere in life. Unless of course you write a book about how to live ones life, people will eat that shit up like skittles.

    I'm not backing out of this suicide my method is fucking perfect I can guarantee my demise. The trick is <mod edit - acy - methods> ;)

    Is it weird I'm more excited about killing myself then when I was in the theater about to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt II? I think it is hahah.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2011
  2. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    I never thought hurting myself was amusing, it actually hurt me even more so to do something like that. All I wanted was for the emotional pain to stop, I wasn't strong enough to handle it. I really never once wanted to die though I made multiple attempts at doing it.

    I really hope you change your mind. If life is that bad, there are things you can do to change the situations that you are in. You should be enjoying your life, not feeling like your living hell on earth.

    It doesn't sound like anyone is going to change your mind. But I think if you was 100% sure of this, you wouldn't be coming on here and talking about it. So I hope you reconsider. We'll be here to help if you decide to keep on fighting.
     
  3. Why Am I Here

    Why Am I Here Well-Known Member

    I'm 100% sure it's happening. :)
     
  4. Comrade Napoleon

    Comrade Napoleon Well-Known Member

    Kind of scary you have a date planned and are considering doing it during the harry potter movie... that is not cool.
     
  5. Why Am I Here

    Why Am I Here Well-Known Member

    I have the date set and location, which will NOT be during the Harry Potter movie. LMAO Read the thread. I stated that I'm more exicted about killing myself then when I was waiting to watch the Deathly Hallows Part II.

    Don't skim the thread and post a reply. READ the thread. lmao
     
  6. Why Am I Here

    Why Am I Here Well-Known Member

    Tomorrows the day! Wish me luck! :)
     
  7. roscho

    roscho Well-Known Member

    Jon,

    I wish you luck. Not in death, but in life. You are extremely smart, and will find a way to use that in a good way for yourself, that I know for sure.
     
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Jon don't shove that 'shit' outta your head..listen you what you're saying to yourself..
    part of you doesn't want to die or you wouldn't be thinking these thoughts
    somewhere inside you can see some hope..grab it with both hands

    this girl on the other forum who you say you love dearly obviously cares about you to call for help..
    she is gonna hurt bigtime if you leave...
    do you also have family that love you?..think how devastated they will be.

    please reconsider and postpone your 'date' and get help asap..
    there are other options besides suicide
    *hug*
     
  9. lostinca

    lostinca Well-Known Member

    Jon please please please do not do anything the pain that you are feeling is temporary I remember hearing or reading someone say something similar to this "suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem."
    Please think about that.
     
  10. Why Am I Here

    Why Am I Here Well-Known Member

    IV, I feel it's selfish to say that I shouldn't kill myself for others feelings. It's what I want to do, and I'm not going to let anyone stop me but me.

    Lost, I know where you're coming from. but this isn't a temporary problem. The ideas I have in my head are never going to leave me. They've been with me. The way I look at the world and how I see the world which I believe is the right way makes me depressed. I don't want to live with this.
     
  11. lostinca

    lostinca Well-Known Member

    Why - things will improve you just have to hang in there and give it time. Life isn't great for me but I can't hurt the people that do care about me and you have people that care about you and you will hurt them if you do anything to hurt yourself.
     
  12. Why Am I Here

    Why Am I Here Well-Known Member

    To be honest, you sound like every suicide hotline speaker I've ever spoke to. The current people in my life don't matter, as nothing in existence matters. We're all going to die eventually and what happens between now and then is just piss in the wind. I couldn't give a rats butt about it or the people involved.
     
  13. starfantasy

    starfantasy New Member

    I understand exactly how you feel. I don't know what is happening in your life, but I know how you feel. Part of me wants to see what the future holds for me, but the other part believes there's nothing in the future for me. Between life and death, there's pain and suffering and a little bit of happiness. Sometimes the best thing to do is to see what makes you feel a bit of happiness. For me it's film. I believe one day I'll be a filmmaker. Stupid, I know, but it's what I believe. Is there something you're passionate about? I read you wanted to be a comedian or maybe you didn't mean that. I believe most of us have to strive for whatever we want and we have to suffer and be angry just to get there. I hate that, but I believe it. Maybe pain is what makes us strive for our dreams quicker. I don't know, but I hope so; it's what I believe.
     
  14. Why Am I Here

    Why Am I Here Well-Known Member

    I couldn't have said it better, Lee. We think alike, I'm not going to lie. If I was going towards traffic and asked what is one thing I would had like to done before I died, I would have said to direct a film. Any who, I live in America where basically if I put my mind to it, I can achieve it. I have no interest though. Nice meeting you! :)
     
  15. Comrade Napoleon

    Comrade Napoleon Well-Known Member

    So, you aren't going to watch that Harry Potter movie, then?
     
  16. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Jon I'm sorry if I came across as selfish..
    I didn't mean to offend you..
    i just want you to stay around and try some other options
    I get suicidal myself so I get where you're at..I know that pain
    please don't give up

    can I ask if you've had any sort of professional help?
    if not would you consider it?

    the reason I'm sounding 'selfish' is because I lost my son to suicide and I guess I'm letting my pain influence my posts

    again i'm sorry but I still hope you'll reconsider *hug*
     
  17. eagles_fan

    eagles_fan Well-Known Member

    Well, it's 8/12 now and I sincerely hope you haven't killed yourself. You're worth much more than you think you are and you'd affect me dearly if you actually go through with this.

    Please don't. I'm not even joking.
     
  18. Why Am I Here

    Why Am I Here Well-Known Member

    I'm having a fucking break down.
     
  19. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Here if you feel like talking?
     
  20. Why Am I Here

    Why Am I Here Well-Known Member

    Wild, I don't want to talk to anyone at the moment. I'm trying to figure out what to do. I'm going insane. Silently.
     
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