Sorry, me again.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by She, May 17, 2010.

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  1. She

    She Member

    I'm so sorry to post again.

    I feel so embarrassed. I'm so tired of reaching out to be dismissed. It's so hurtful, it's so shameful. This was my own boyfriend. We don't live in the same city so it's hard and for days I've been reaching out to him. I just want him to make me feel better. I think I know deep down he isn't right for me but I don't have anyone else. Every bit of strength, I get from him. He's really let me down tonight. He used to say how hard it was to get close to me and I told him I don't like to be really close to people for this reason; they just let you down.

    What happened just a few minutes ago between us has really hurt. I was there, asking for help, but I got nothing back. He didn't want to know.

    I don't want to die, I really don't. I just don't want to feel this pain. If suicide takes away the pain (of everything, not just stupid relationship woes) then at least I know I've had a few years of trying to make everything work out.
     
  2. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    :hug:

    Please don't apologise for posting. You can post as much or as little as you want, there will always be someone here to listen.

    I'm sorry your boyfriend has let you down. Keep reaching out on the forum, we won't dismiss you.

    :hug:
     
  3. She

    She Member

    That's really nice of you to say. Thanks.
     
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    People choose the weirdest ways to express anger no? Anyway I am really sorry to hear your boyfriend is not helping you. I hope that we can help you in some way.
     
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry your BF isn't supportive....but don't give up because of him..
    we're here for you and we understand how you feel so keep posting..:hugtackles:
     
  6. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    Ah, I'm sorry. It hurts when you reach out to people, and they turn away. Like you said, he's not the right one for you.

    Just posting here, and know that there are other guys out there who will not turn away. And we're here for you.
     
  7. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    I'm so sorry but,
    at least you've had a boyfriend? Do you know there's many people out there
    who have suicided because one of their suicide factors was they've never had a boyfriend/girlfriend before?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 18, 2010
  8. Infinite Sadness

    Infinite Sadness Well-Known Member

    It's really counter-productive to try and compare people's situations and how they deal with them emotionally. Everyone deals with their problems differently and it's not fair to try and belittle She's situation for feeling the way she does just because it's not the same as another's experience with life.

    A.
     
  9. shazwackers

    shazwackers Well-Known Member

    Sorry you have been let down by your boyfriend She. It's cruel for him to turn away when you needed him the most........

    Keep posting here, it's helped me a lot, and I'm sure it will you too.......shaz
     
  10. She

    She Member

    Hello,

    I read all your replies earlier but I didn't feel ready to respond (for some reason).
    I would just like to thank you for all your kind words. It's strange how much a stranger's politeness can comfort you so much, but it does.

    I'm drunk right now. I know I shouldn't be but, alas, I am. This has probably given me the courage!

    Infinite_Sadness: your comment both astounds and hurts me. I think people feel differently in many situations. Take yourself and look at Noemie Lenoir (most famous for modelling M&S), for example. She is a beautiful, successful mother. That doesn't stop her from feeling as low as to take her own life.

    I really don't mean to sound bitchy; I just think it's the feelings within that make us do things. It doesn't matter where we stand socially.
    x
    Thank you all so much. xxxx
     
  11. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Without going into detail of my own circumstances, your not alone to be let down by a loved one. You trust that person to accept you and then when they turn there back when you are at your weakest well that hurts the most.

    But you can get through it-somehow however it hard it is you can push yourself through it, and hopefully make you a stronger person, your right venting/writing here does help. I know that is why I do it so please don't be embarrassed okay.

    Um sorry this is not really much help, I just well wanted to let you know pretty much what I said up there:unsure:
     
  12. Infinite Sadness

    Infinite Sadness Well-Known Member

    She, that was the point I was trying to make. That Mari shouldn't devaluate how you feel just because it is different from another's experience with life.

    At least that's how *I* took her post.

    Sorry if it wasnt worded to sound that way..that is what I meant.. :unsure:
     
  13. She

    She Member

    I do apologise, I'm just about to write you a little message xx
     
  14. She

    She Member

    Losts - your post, particularly, meant something to me. Thank you.

    When I was little, and wanted to talk to my mother about something, she would always shush me. Our family are experts at keeping things inside. I know other people do that too; I'd just like to say thank you to everyone. I really feel like I am being listened to. xx
     
  15. Infinite Sadness

    Infinite Sadness Well-Known Member

    No worries!

    Oh wow, I hear you there about your family being experts at hiding things. I thought I had the perfect little family (minus a dad) growing up. It wasn't until shit hit the fan and I got older that I began to see just how much they were hiding from the rest of the world. Kinda scary..I inherited the "bottling it up" gene as well. Not fun but working on it.

    I am glad you have found a place where we will listen to you. It's important to be heard. :hug:
     
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